toasted!zine episode nine

buh-bye

Brandon's head throbbed with pain. He had a massive hangover from the drunken spree he had been on the day before, which was bad enough. However, things had gotten much worse since he had stepped into Jason Sorrenti's office.

"You're fired," Jason said with glee.

"I already know that already, Jason," Brandon grumbled, rubbing his temples, "Can't you just let me get my stuff and leave?"

"I wish I could," Jason grumbled as well, "However, company policy states that I actually have to list the reasons you're being fired for, which, I might add, is quite extensive in this case. Shall we review them?"

"Shall we go take a ride on a trolley as well?" Brandon said in a mock British voice, "You sound like a tool when you talk like that."

"I'll start with your less than sunny demeanor," Jason snapped, "Which, as I'm sure you can tell, has gotten much worse due in part to your drinking problem..."

"I don't have a drinking problem," Brandon told him, "Darren just..."

"Don't make excuses. I want you out of here as quick as possible, and you whining will only prolong the inevitable."

"Fine. Go ahead then."

"Like I was saying. Drinking problem. You have one. Deadlines. You apparently don't seem to care about half of the time. Our deal. You were supposed to get 600 views within two months, and you failed miserably. This being so...

"I want you to pack up and leave."

"Great. So do I."

"And by the way. You have five minutes."

"Wha??"

"I've called security to escort you out of the building. You have five minutes to grab all of your stuff and leave."

meanwhile, in the toasted!zine office

"Knock knock," Scott Williams said as he walked through the door, "Anybody home?"

Meagan Clarke, despite being in the room, decided to ignore Scott. Yesterday, he had read a poem to her, and that didn't sit well with her.

For weeks, she had been asking around about the identity of someone who was leaving her love notes, and Scott adamantly claimed that he had nothing to do with it.

He knew women didn't like being lied to?

"Meagan, are you at least going to pretend I exist?"

"I don't have anything to say to you."

"Look... I just wanted you to know that it wasn't me who was sending you those messages," Scott explained.

"And I should believe you... why?"

"Like I told you before," Scott said, "If I were going to lie to you, I'd do it with a lot more finesse. And, you wouldn't even know about it."

"Well, that's not exactly a comforting thought, Scott."

"Well then how about this," Scott said, "When I saw those secret admirer notes you were getting... I didn't really know what to do. So I wrote a poem, and I recited it for you, and... well, if that's not enough, I can just walk out of here...

"I mean... if that's what you want..."

Meagan took a deep breath in. And opened her mouth to answer.

five minutes.

"Hey! Hey Brandon!" Darren yelled, "Where are you going off to so quickly?"

"I have to clean out my office in five minutes. Security is coming to escort me out," Brandon explained sullenly to his friend, "And right now, I'm not in the mood for talking with you."

"Mmm hmm, that's real nice," Darren muttered absently, "Listen, I got news for you. I found Stooge Boy. He was locked up in my old beer cubby, by the water cooler. You wanna' hear who did it?"

"It doesn't matter anymore, Darren."

"It was Andrea! Andrea Speed! You know. The lumberjack-esque Reviews Editor!"

"I know who she is Darren..."

"Yeah, well, anyway, needless to say, when I was getting Stooge Boy free, she caught me. And since it was comiXtreme Idol day, she was decked out in her lumberjack clothes and everything. Big axe... the whole spiel."

"Gee... that's great," Brandon muttered, before a little timer dinged in his head, "Wait... an AXE? How did she get that into the office?"

"Like hell I know," Darren muttered, "Listen, long story short, she was pissed at Stooge Boy for eating her three eyed kitten, and she locked him up. I helped him escape, and she's been hunting me down ever since. Speaking of which, you need to distract her for me right now..."

Darren pointed in Andrea's direction as she barreled towards Brandon and himself.

"But I have to clean out my offi—"

"Thanks buddy!" Darren smiled, running in another direction.

"Oh, God," Brandon muttered to himself, "I just can't wait until this is all over. Andrea! How are you?"

Andrea grumbled gruffly, "I'll be much better when I get my hands on that Darren kid. Did you know what he did?"

"Yeah, he set free a person you kidnapped and didn't report you, thus preventing you from going to jail and making that poor little girl your..."

Brandon caught himself before he made an inappropriate comment.

"My what?"

"Friend."

"Oh. Well..."

Brandon began to walk towards his office, "Look, I have something to do and... it looks like security is coming to take me away from here, and I really want to grab a few things before I... get..."

He peered through the open door, to see the site of Meagan and Scott kissing.

And as security dragged him away... he couldn't help but wishing he'd never come back to comiXtreme again.