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TOASTED!ZINE - EPISODE 6 -- THE TSUNAMI DIES AWAY
toasted!zine – episode six
"oh, davey."
Inside This "Spank-tacular" Episode:
- How to get a girl by dropping your pants!
- Who watches the "Watchmen"?
- The end of Tsunami?
- Details on comiXtreme Idol!
- And more? Hells yeah!
toasted!newz boxers
It's the return of toasted!newz boxers, the free-r flowing news source for those of you who like it short and sweet, if you know what we mean.
This time around, we're going to take a look at all of the recent Tsunami news and rumors that have recently surfaced, so strap in, and enjoy!
Rumor!
Both Sentinel and Inhumans are up on the chopping block. Issue 12 will likely be the last for both comics.
brandon: I went to seanmckeever.com to check if the rumor was true, right after I read several post about this on the internet, and Sean greeted me with a hearty "no comment". Apparently, he doesn't respond to rumors, which... well, it makes me mildly dislike him. Sentinel is the greatest comic book ever, and Inhumans is not far behind... and if they were cancelled... well, that would suck.
Darren: Aw, muffin. Do you need someone to hold you? Because I'm right here big guy.
brandon: No thanks.
Meagan: Wait a second. Greatest ever? Please tell me you have never read "Watchmen".
brandon: I have. And I still think Sentinel is way better.
Meagan: You have to be the world's biggest idiot.
brandon: I'll take that as a compliment.
News!
Recently, Runaways writer Brian K. Vaughan announced that his title was renewed through 'til issue 18. Originally, Marvel had given both Runaways and Sentinel a twelve issue run each.
brandon: Read. Originally, Marvel had given both Runaways and Sentinel a twelve issue run each.
If Vaughan is announcing to the world that his title received an extension... where does this leave Sentinel?
Meagan: Certainly nowhere in the audience of Watchmen, that's for damn sure.
brandon: Meagan, please. We've moved on from that.
Like I was saying, if Runaways was extended to issue 18, and Sentinel is facing cancellation rumors... I'm thinking that can't be good news. I mean... Sentinel deserves a run that's bigger than twelve issues. Because Watchmen only ran for twelve issues, and this comic is waaaaaaay better.
Meagan: Watchmen was a mini-series. It was only meant to run for twelve issues. God, you're a loser.
Darren: Hey, do you guys mind if I grab me some popcorn? This "lover's quarrel" thing you're doing is really entertaining.
Meagan (sharply): What do you mean by "lover's quarrel"?
brandon (sharply-er): Shut up Darren.
Darren: Hey, I'm just calling it like I sees it.
brandon: Remind me to kill you later.
News!
Both Venom and New Mutants are getting their prices hiked from $2.25 and $2.50 respectively, to $2.99 each in November.
Meagan: Wait, I'm not done yet. What do you mean by "lover's quarrel", Darren?
Darren: So... more money for comics, eh? That's bad.
brandon: I'm sure he was just messing around. You know he never takes these things seriously. Right Darren?
Darren: Sure, sure. So... more expensive comics. That's not good.
brandon: No. No it isn't. Quickly moving on...
News!
All of the previously announced Tsunami trades have been cancelled, as overall sales did not reach Marvel's high expectations. However, Mystique, Runaways, and Sentinel will be released in tiny digest/"manga" sized trades.
Meagan: Hey look, Brandon. They're releasing Sentinel in a tiny little trade. Watchmen at least got a full sized one.
brandon: Quiet, you.
End
after shocks
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, Brandon!" Darren Jess yelled, jogging slightly, "Where are you off to so fast?"
"Out," Brandon muttered coldly.
"Oh, come on, man," Darren muttered, "You and I both know you aren't going out. You haven't left this building for a week because you're to afraid to pull your pants up."
"Well, maybe I'm ready to end this... this stupid game of 'ankles', and pull my pants up," Brandon muttered, "I'm obviously not getting anywhere, trying to beat you in a game where the person who gets embarrassed the most, looses. I just can't beat you, and you're obviously not going to help me any, so..."
"Oh, come on Brandon. You're not just going to give up, are you?" Darren asked, "I mean... you've gone this far. What's stopping you from winning this thing?"
"You!" Brandon yelled, "You've been trying to sabotage me on every turn! I mean, I appreciate you offering to set me up on a date with Meagan, but... between being pantsless and you constantly bugging me... it's just not worth it."
"Brandon, please, don't put your pants back on."
"Gaaaaaaaayyy," Scott Williams said as he passed by.
Darren smiled and yelled, "You know you like it..."
"Darren, there is no possible way you can stop me from pulling my pants back on," Brandon told him.
"Okay, okay wait," Darren said, "Look, how about this. All you have to do, is hold out for one more day, and I'll willfully pull my pants up, all by myself. You win, and I get you the date with Meagan."
Brandon stopped and considered.
"Okay, I'll do it."
"Great. Now let's go find Scott and freak him out by touching each other's @$$."
"Yeah, that's a no."
Meanwhile...
Meagan Clarke stood in the toasted! office, looking at a little notebook.
Recently, she had been plagued with lots of boy problems. She was receiving love notes from a secret admirer, who could be anyone of three people:
Darren Clarke, local pain in the @$$.
Scott Williams, a guy who may or may not be lying to her face.
And Brandon Schatz, a person who had written down his intentions to tell Meagan how much he loved her EVERYDAY in his time book.
And so... she was standing over his time book, opening it up to the week the secret notes started coming.
"October 8th, 2003 to the 14th..." she muttered, "What the... there's nothing written here!"
She flipped forward, and looked at all the pages, looking for any sign that Brandon was planning to ask her out or if he was the one sending her secret love notes.
Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Then...
"There!" she muttered quickly, "October 30th... 'tell Meagan that I love her'. Oh... creepy...
"I'll have to watch out for that day...
comiXtreme Idol!
You've heard about it! And now, you can experience it!
comiXtreme Idol is coming on October 30th, and will showcase the best and the worst of our staff's talents! And after they showcase it all to you, you get to vote for whose the best!
The winner gets a two cent pay raise, and a free dinner (up to $5.00) at the local McDonalds for winning!
Stay tuned in two weeks for all the action!
END
toasted!studios Members:
brandon schatz
Meagan Clarke
Darren Jess
Honorary Members:
Scott Williams
A hairless monkey named BoBo.
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