Toasted!Zine – APRIL 13/2004
VOLUME II – ISSUE [interlude]

A combination of Easter holidays and inspiration has brought about the following piece. I hope you enjoy it in place of the regular Toasted! features, which will return in grand fashion with next week's Anniversary edition.

Words on a Page. – Geek.

by brandon schatz

Geek.

That's a funny sounding word, isn't it? I bet that if you said it a hundred times over, you'd probably end up temporarily forgetting what the word actually means and find yourself thinking that it's just a pile of meaningless gibberish. Or, you'd end up making yourself look incredibly stupid in front of anyone close enough to hear you. Someone might even call you a geek for even partaking in the aforementioned practice, thus instantly turning you into a horned-rimmed glasses wearing, high suspender pantsed, allergy afflicted weirdo.

Such is the power of the word "geek". It's incredible, isn't it? I certainly think so. In fact, I find it to be even more powerful when a noun or phrase directly precedes in when the word is applied to any given person.

For example, if I were to point at one of you reading this and yell out "Star Wars geek!", immediately, images of a person sitting at his computer with a Darth Vader helmet desperately trying to choke me with their mind snap into existence. If I were to yell "Star Trek geek" right afterwards, a Klingon costume and the utterence of "Kahn!" into random sentences replaces Vader in the mind. "Computer geek!" Well, that would produce a person locked up in their room/basement, muttering to themselves about the speed of this processor being inferior to the one that they were making, and by God if the Bill Gates ever discovered what they were trying to accomplish, well, then they'd be killed.

And since we all know that this was eventually coming... "Comic Book Geek!"

If I yelled that out, all of you reading would probably just shrug their shoulders and mutter, "So?" That's because that is what our little society here is formed of. Now yes, I know that you, Joey McComicreader, do not consider yourself to be a "geek" persay. You're just in it for the entertainment that comes from reading a comic or looking at the pretty pictures. And you're also not a smoker if you just do it socially or occasionally, but hey. To each, their own. For the purposes of this column, everyone reading, is a comic book geek.

Now, as a comic book geek, you've been afflicted with the stereotype put forth by the Simpsons. The image of "Comic Shop Guy" is probably the most mainstream stereotype of "comic book geek" that exists, and thusly, that is what people think you are. A sarcastic know-it-all who believes that Superman is largely inferior to Batman (even though Superman could kick Bats' butt if the fight was fair) and by God, if you're going to disagree with me, then I'll sarcastically toss you example upon example of the coolness of Batman, taken right from Detective Comics [specific number], page 5, panel 4, drawn by [gritty style artist], and others.

Rather unappealing, isn't it. But this is the image that you're saddled with. This is the image 90% or more of the world will dredge up when they catch you reading a comic or if you simply tell them that they should be reading the... oh, I don't know... new Sentinel trade coming out this month. This is what you must fight against.

And yes, I know, it's hard to fight. You first have to take the gigantic box of comics you have out of the hidden corner of your life you've been keeping them and flaunt them in front of your friends and family and even people you don't particularly care for, which, yes, could include your friends and family depending on how all that's going for you, but nonetheless. You have to display your love of comics, and for some, that's really hard. After all, society doesn't really find the comic lover very appealing. In fact, like I said before, they find the comic book reader to be fat and sarcastic and bitter, and that just doesn't cut it when it comes to being cool for you.

Well, if you're going to change that belief, you're going to have to get over the fear, my friend, because nothing changes if you just let it happen. You have to go out into the world with a backpack full of comics. Hand some out to your friends. Yes, they could be ruined and by golly, your friends could lick their finger to turn the page and eat greasy potato chips and smudge the cover, but really. Loosen up. Comics are made to be read, not locked up in some dark cupboard in nice and neat stacks of plastic coverings. Share the love. Get your comics out there. Make them all crinkled and well read. Make other people geeks. That way, if you're afraid of rejection from the world at large, your team will have one more member to fight with.

In one month alone, I've actually got my friends to go into the local comic shop and actually browse. Eventually, they even bought something, and now they're begging me to take them back there because they're too lazy to walk or get a drivers license. I know, very braggy on my part, but dangit, I'm proud of that accomplishment. It took me long enough to even read comics in public and admit to my friends that I was even in possession of some, after all.

You could very well do the same, if you haven't done so already. And what do you have to lose in even attempting? Your friends might think you're a little strange, but wait two seconds, and I bet you can find something that they're a little weird about. We all have our little eccentricities. Show yours. Be proud of yours.

I am.

I know that I may not be the best looking person, and I know that I may not have a girlfriend (at the moment, I'm certain).

I know that I may not be much of a smooth talker, and that my luck with the ladies isn't all that grand (as previously noted).

I know that the world will look at me a bit sideways because I carry a backpack everywhere I go, and I know that not everyone will except me, whether it be my looks, my personality, or yes, even my love of comic books.

But I am a comic book reader. I am a comic book geek.

And I am proud.

Show your love.