The Gamer’s Quagmire #49: Improving Your Golf Game
Everything you wanted to know about gaming, and less.
by Jamison DeLorenzo
In the realm of sports gaming, this is the time of year where Madden turns its head as the gaming phenomenon that it is. There are yearly tournaments with cash prizes. Shooters and war simulations are the typical kingpins of the gaming tournaments. It was only natural that the most popular (like Windows is popular) video football game in a country where football is by far and away the most popular sport got a national gaming tournament. ESPN devotes broadcasting hours to it. This is not just because of the strangely consistent Madden cover curse, but because NFL players play the game too.Far be it for me to whine about gaming becoming too popular (you can never have enough gaming), but I am not here to complain about the socio-economic problems that are derived from a monopolistic franchise in a neo-capitalist society. Instead, my focus is to mention my yearly sports exodus that I have embarked on every year since 1999. This is the trip of going through the latest incarnation of the latest Tiger Woods PGA Tour game.
If you needed more evidence that I am a massive geek this should work quite nicely for you. As I have already written lines upon lines of (in)coherent drivel on football and baseball video games here, it was high time that my favorite type of sports game got some attention. My days of playing the PGA Tour series date back to 1992, before EA stapled Tiger onto the franchise. EA has many negative traits, but this move did inject enough attention to the golf game where the game has improved leaps and bounds over the years.
As with a lot of games recently, the franchise is still working hard on improving graphically. If you do not enjoy golf this is hard to defend, but as someone who plays golf recreationally seeing so much detail on a course does bring me closer to a state of euphoria. As I will probably never be willing to shell out the money required to play a round at Pebble Beach or Carnoustie (or display my well-documented inferior skills on world-renowned courses), feeling like I am actually at the course as my character goes through it is a fantastic feeling.
The reason I look forward to the new PGA Tour game every year is because creating a character and raising their skills all the way up is a riveting experience. I feel I need to share this with you not because I expect you to be able to enjoy this vicariously or to convince you that everyone who loves golf should do this, but because anyone who has ever had the thrill of working to level a powerful character in an RPG or put in tons of work to create a powerful team in franchise mode needs to know that this can also happen in a game as slow-paced as golf.
I suppose it is impossible to explain how much fun it is to create a character in a golf game that looks like a digital replica of yourself and make them the most powerful golfer possible, but I do this every year and it never gets old. Part of the idea is that I feel the need to prove myself to the rest of the world that video game golf is one of my strong suits. The skill is not as useful as I would like it to be, such as picking up girls at a bar useful, but playing a quick 18 holes in a life-like world will always have its uses.
On a related note, if you are an avid female golfer and enjoy talking about Tiger Woods PGA Tour, I highly encourage you post in our forums requesting contact information.
Looking at the game from a basic review perspective, it is hard to pinpoint flaws with the game that are anything other than subjective. Being that the only problem that I have seen is a framerate issue that pops from intermittently the game is rock solid. I am not here to write a boring review, however. My goal is to provide everyone who loves golfing games an alternative form of gameplay.
While there are plenty of courses and game modes to keep one occupied for a very long time, the following is a suggestion for a friendly golf game for those people that are of drinking age. If you are unfamiliar with my setup it is quite simple: a Waterfall penalty is finishing your drink, and a Cascade (derivation of a Cascade waterfall which is approximately 5 feet high) penalty means taking a sip. As with all games of this nature, please be responsible.
For your golfing, gaming, and drinking pleasure:
Cascade penalty:
- Bogey a hole
- Missing a putt < 5 feet
- Missing the green on a par 3
- Hitting a shot Out of Bounds
- Not going for the green in 2 on a par 5
- (Skins) Losing a skin
Waterfall penalty:
- +2 or more on a hole
- +1 or more on a par 5
- Multiple Out of Bounds on a hole
- Shot Limit Exceeded
- Highest score after 9 or 18 holes
- (Skins) Losing 3 skins or more on a hole
Enjoy this version of golf, where it is, in fact, okay to drive (the golf ball) drunk.
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May 29, 2007
The Gamer’s Quagmire #46: Pauly Shore and EA
Everything you wanted to know about gaming, and less.
by Jamison DeLorenzo
Who doesn’t enjoy bashing companies like EA? Memorial day weekends bring that type of thinking to my mind. Anyway, judging by sales figures over the past couple of years it seems lots of people not only have been annoyed by a lack of good games from EA but many people have been also quite annoyed by many of their acts (overworking employees, buying out competition, destroying good gaming franchises, and creating monopolies with exclusive gaming licenses to name a few). As someone who has been steadfastly against anything EA has done for the past 3 years, I believe it is time to, at the very least, look at the cesspool that is their company and see if there is anything worth being salvaged.
It is true that avoiding their games has only been exacerbated by an unhealthy addiction to World of Warcraft. It is easy to avoid games when you only have interest in playing one. I am a much happier gamer now that I have moved on from that addiction. I still refuse to buy any new games with the EA logo on them, but enough time has passed where I can at least examine their current franchises to try and find something that may make me say that they are not operating at a 100% evil capacity anymore. They did pull the plug on their James Bond games finally, so they are starting to figure something out.
I will not make it a secret that the impending release of Spore next year is part of my motivation. I won’t even try to deny that Warhammer Online has piqued my interest. There have been a couple games that I would have given a chance recently had it not been my credo to avoid any of their products. I have not gone as far as convincing myself that what they spit out is covered in e-coli (yet) because most of their games have been garbage. Madden and NBA Live have been their most shining examples of trash games for three years running. This has made their exclusive license push all the more aggravating. It’s like the old saying goes- you cannot force feed your customers garbage. As they were topping the garbage with sewage I have not been hungry for any of their services.
Let us look at their main franchises to get an idea of what they can do to turn their name around (in terms of quality games).
Madden- Their most popular series in terms of units sold, this franchise has been dead to me since 2002 and many joined my way of thinking once the Sega 2K series started taking off and surpassed Madden in overall game quality and presentation. For many this series became dead once the exclusive license hammer dropped. I published a list of fundamental problems with the gameplay within the past year that I have had since 1999. The way I see it, until these problems are resolved and the exclusive license expires the franchise will stay dead.
NBA Live - If you are a sports junky like me you have been pained by this series for a good chunk of time. NBA2K has been the better franchise for 3 years (despite Shaq being on the cover), and really the problem is that Live dropped the ball after 2004. The 2003/2004 timeframe for Live presented great gameplay for basketball, only the franchise has regressed since then. The franchise mode does not feel as complete anymore, the constant changing of the jump step is annoying (first it was overpowered, and then it never resulted in anything but a charge or travel- make up your friggin’ mind people!), and the AI is terrible. I’m happy with 2K and have no intentions of going back. The Live games need to be completely revamped before I can consider giving them a chance again.
SimCity - To be fair this game was so good I didn’t even know that EA owned Maxis until SimCity 3000. I didn’t know Maxis made it until deep into my SimCity 2000 phase. I didn’t care. While there have been a plethora of Sim titles over the past 10 years SimCity is the flagship and the best of any of the other Sim games. That is, until SimCity 4 came out. By the grace of God I managed to borrow the game from someone before simply buying it. 3000 is my favorite of all the iterations in the SimCity franchise, so seeing 4 fall flat on its face was, in fact, heartbreaking. The economy in the game was completely broken- the fact that you needed to build a city whose sole purpose was to take in garbage and power from the city you wanted to build was very annoying. I was in the group of people who never had a problem making money in any of the City games in any of the first 3 titles, but somehow in 4 generating revenue became impossible. Sure, the integration with Sims to get people to give you feedback on neighborhoods was quite cool, but when you can’t have fun building a city you know the game is broken. Maybe the next title in the series will be fine, but until then nostalgia will win out on this series.
Sims - If you want to talk about addictions, this is a great place to start. The appeal of playing a game where you simulate someone’s life is difficult to explain. In college I coined the Point Blank Theory, which states that some games look less appealing than a Pauly Shore movie until you sit down to play them. The overall definition of the theory is still in flux because those movies are still highly unappealing when you sit down to watch them, which blows apart the gaming theory as a whole. Anyway, people went from openly mocking the game to refusing to give up the controller after 30 minutes. I mention this because the game didn’t look fun until I sat down and gave it a whirl. After years of playing the original I came up with a list of changes that I thought would be good shifts in game’s fundamentals. Three of them made it into Sims 2, which, to me, proved that my advanced degree in computer science paid off (nevermind the whole job thing). The downside is that the number of expansion packs for these games is a running joke in the gaming community, despite their high sales numbers. Reducing the number of expansion packs by making the packs larger would go a long way to rebuilding the character issues people have with the company.
Command & Conquer - One of the staples of the RWS (Real-time War Simulation) genre (a.k.a. RTS, but as I’ve said in the past real-time strategy is a horrid genre name because that name applies just as well to Tetris as this franchise). Quite honestly I was never as big of a fan of this franchise as WarCraft (before WarCraft 3), but these games have been genuinely solid. There has not been a lot of fresh ideas in the genre as a whole in a while, let alone this franchise, but if they did make the next game as fresh as the first and second games were people would eat it up. People are dying for a great new RWS- evidenced by the fervor surrounding the announcement of StarCraft 2.
Battlefield - Not being much of a war game fan it is hard to really get behind them and defend them as a good potential cornerstone for EA, but Battlefield 2 was a fantastic game at its core. There were some issues with multiplayer that hurt its reputation before some early patches, but this game was very well done as a FPS. Commandeering vehicles was fantastic, but the coolest part of the game for me was the ability to play the role of a general and drop in supplies and reinforcements. It isn’t that hard to bring in fresh ideas into such a young genre, but when you throw down the improvements that Battlefield 2 did you a great franchise starting to catch steam. War games are not my thing, but I can tell you that the reception the gaming community gave the last installment in the franchise will only serve as a launching point for fans and production budget for Battlefield 3.
Need for Speed - If you like driving games at one point you had to have given one of the Need for Speed games a shot. If you are like me you waited until Underground 2 in 2004 before you bothered looking at it. Right now I am knee deep in my used copy of Carbon and am loving every second of it. I used to think that GTA and Carmageddon were the only games where you just drive around and cause vehicular mayhem. Within the past two years I discovered this game and one other. The car customization combined with the street racing is entertaining. I don’t know how much fresh air can be breathed into this series considering the numerous iterations to date, but if EA keeps this franchise breathing then they can start to win people over again.
Burnout - This is the other game that involves vehicular destruction. This game is so similar to Need for Speed I wonder why EA continues to make it- other than to milk money off of a franchise name. This game doesn’t have a career where you build up a car like Need for Speed, but you do have several challenges for races and destruction. This franchise made sense to me when Akklaim held it, but right now it feels like the only thing this game has going for it is the destruction challenges. The game felt old to me after one iteration, and in my opinion this franchise should be buried and forgotten.
If you include the upcoming Spore release, the only positive things I can see coming down the pike from EA revolve around simulations, probably Need for Speed, and maybe Command & Conquer. Nothing else under the EA franchise name holds any appeal for me at all. Really the message I want to send here is that I want to lighten up on EA and give them a shot, but their lineup is not helping me get there. So while my earlier movie analogy failed, right now I honestly can state that this sentiment makes think of EA as the gaming version of the Wachowski Brothers.
No… that wasn’t a compliment.
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March 12, 2007
The Gamer’s Quagmire #43: Getting What You Ask For
Everything you wanted to know about gaming, and less.
by Jamison DeLorenzo
Something struck me this past weekend that I feel that I should share with you. No, I didn’t get run over by a tour bus (although that almost did happen). I have been spending an extravagant amount of time looking over launch lists for each of the consoles wondering about which console looks like it is going to be the most promising this year. I decided that it was possible for a console to become my primary gaming platform in lieu of my PC. The Sony online Home announcement aside the launch lists are going to be the most telling. It will tell me which console will be naughty and which will be nice.
Wait- did I just make a Christmas reference in March?! With a list and everything else?!!!?! Sigh…
It struck me that every game I was most likely to want to play, with the big exception being Spore, is a sequel in a franchise. Granted, it is hard to see which new games are going to be good and it’s hard to plan for those. Assassin’s Creed, as interesting as it sounds, is on my list of games that may be rented at some point. I believe I have mentioned this problem here before so I am not going to elaborate on it. The reason I bring it up is that I started to walk down the path of what games would sound the most appealing to me if they were to be released.
Hearken back to Knights of the Old Republic II if you will. It is a quality game that was not finished in time of its release and there is plenty of content the developers at Obsidian completed that we never saw. However, because we have hints and bread crumbs in the game as to what this missing content is, people are working on the restoring this content. It is this type of news that has been the most intriguing in a while. Find a game that has some extra content in it that I have not seen before you and I am probably on the line ready to bite at purchasing it.
This is a strange notion for me to consider. I am not the person who jumps at the extra content that is on a DVD or looks for Director’s or Extended cuts of a movie. Music, on the other hand, does grab me that way. Finding several concerts and unreleased Dave Matthews Band tracks pretty much made my week despite a stomach virus, more Mets drama, insane work hours, a leak in my ceiling at home, almost being run over, and no gaming of any kind. Somehow this idea of viewing previously enjoyed media with some added bonuses has struck a chord with me.
Now, do I really want to see all of my past favorite games with some added content? Hardly. Several of my favorite games have been re-released within the past couple of years that I simply have no intention of getting (especially any of the Square games with added Anime). Most of these re-released games are simply fluff on top of the same game. Fables: The Lost Chapters, on the other hand, is in the ilk of the type of game I am very much interested in playing. That offering was a little too shallow for me to consider picking up because they finally made the game a decent length for an RPG and it was still not a whole lot more than the original offering.
In general I love seeing new takes or extensions on old ideas. This is still tricky to pull off with games because adding enough content to a game that makes it worth buying again is always tough. Fans of the Rainbow Six series should understand what I’m talking about here. Every once in a while a new release in the franchise does make the campaigns and the multiplayer vastly different experiences. Meanwhile Madden is still bogged down with the same gameplay that existed in 2001 (aaah, another cheap shot at EA). When you whore out a cool game, such as what happened with Prince of Persia: Sands of Time, you go in the opposite direction of what I’m looking for.
As that is one of my least popular phrases, which is true with any phrase that is beyond tired, I feel I should elaborate on what I mean by that. After all that comment is highly subjective. The only real difference between “good new content” and a “whored out franchise” is a highly subjective opinion on the new release. They sound completely different. The latter even sounds like I’m saying something extremely poignant instead of just being guilty of something every radio shock DJ does on a daily basis.
Take Sands of Time- the game was designed from the ground up by the creator. Everything about the game was brand new for the franchise. The next step, The Warrior Within, had a gutted story and a deeper battle system. Overall the game did not really offer anything new. After this came The Two Thrones which, although it offered an interesting story device, did not offer anything new to the game worth getting excited about. I am not saying that the games are not worth looking at if Sands of Time provided a good amount of enjoyment for you (it is in my all-time Top 10 for games), but after a ton of incremental changes you are effectively beating a dead horse.
Hmm, that’s still pretty subjective. Maybe I have no idea what I am looking for. Not knowing what I want could be my real problem. Maybe there is no winning formula for expanding on an old game. Maybe I only want expansion packs for games I love and complete rewrites for everything else. Maybe I just need to take a closer look at the titles available now and give them a try instead of being a chicken. Either way, I am starting to get a sense for why not too many games are appealing to me right now and that online games have a tendency to nuke one’s ability to find other good games to play.
Or I just may need to be 10 years old again and get a slew of video games for Christmas one last time.
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