The $40 Pull List – February 2010

Happy February! Hopefully, all of you are looking forward to some VD!

Yes once again, we’re coming at you like a crotch-full of the HIVvy from beautiful downtown Nanuktuk, California. My name is Brandon Schatz, and I am joining the creator of the list, Mr. Craigerton "ST(u)D" Reade for another round of hot! Comics! Action!

*CLAP*

Ug, I feel dirty now.

In any case – welcome. I have to say that the response to last month’s move to this "undead" (as opposed to Live!) format worked out quite well… so I am happy to continue with it.

This month had some ups and downs – I can honestly say that we have seen better months than January 2010. However, things have been going so well for so long – something like this was bound to happen.

Anyway – on to last month’s books!

January Issues

Jonah Hex #51, $3.99, DC Comics. Due Out 01/06/10 ON TIME
Written by Justin Gray & Jimmy Palmiotti, Art by Dick Giordano, Colors by Rob Schwager

Our story begins at a funeral for a Brett Singleton, designer of the town of Singleton. It seems he was killed by a bunch of claim jumpers. During the sermon, the preacher reveals that he has summoned Jonah Hex to avenge Singleton’s murder. The first thing Hex does is accost the newly widowed Mrs. Singleton – pointing out how much younger she is than her late husband, and wonders if she was in league with his killers. She naturally reacts violently, denying her involvement. So Hex is off to a good start.

We see the murderers digging, and learn that they believed Singleton possessed a divining rod that found precious metals, and killed him for it. At this point, they have had no luck with the stick.

Hex argues with the preacher, who tries to defend the widow, and keep her uninvolved, but Hex will have none of it. The Preacher reluctantly agrees to fetch her, but finds she is being kidnapped by the claim jumpers. The Preacher returns, and Hex forces a confession out of him. He orchestrated the killing, and wanted Hex to deal with the claim jumpers so he could be with the widow in peace, give her a shoulder to cry on, and hope that she falls for him when he is lending a sympathetic ear, and after hiring Hex to get vengeance for her husband. The widow, after a bit of a beating, laughingly reveals that the stick was a joke, and that her husband planted the precious metals he "found," in the hopes of building the town’s population through a gold rush. The swindling (but innocent of her husbands murder) widow kills the preacher with the divining rod. Hex decides about everyone is guilty, and kills the claim jumpers for the bounty, and lets the widow know she is only alive because there is no bounty on her, and lets her go.

I am back to being bored by this book.

See, here’s the thing. In every issue of Jonah Hex, we know pretty much exactly what’s going to happen. Jonah is going to start going up against someone. For a moment or two, they might have him on the back foot, but by the end, he’ll shoot them in the face. Because that’s what he does. And that’s all he does. The character as I see him, suffers from being the old timey Punisher. And I don’t mean that in the way that he’s a pale comparison, I mean that in the way that he’s exactly like the Punisher. Both character function best when they are the single note – the force of nature that feels very little, if nothing at all. And you can only tell so many stories using that "style" until things. Get. Boring.

Plus, there was no Rape in this book. I mean, sure, there was potential for future Rape, but that’s not good enough. You see what this book has done? It has made me sad that there was too little rape in a comic. Gah.

Here is where I am going to have to disagree with you, and then agree with you again.

The "one-note" thing doesn’t bother me in the slightest. The formula you are describing can be found in some variation in almost every super-hero comic on the market today. There isn’t a character out there that we couldn’t make a good guess about how he is going to react in certain situations.

However – this particular issue was pretty weak. It was confusing, and lacked any real punch. I appreciate the single-issue story goal, but if you can’t tell a good single-issue story, you shouldn’t do it (and frankly, if you are a comic writer and can’t manage that, you should be ashamed of yourself).

Nothing against Palmiotti and Gray, but I would love to see Stan Sakai write this book for a year. This book needs a little Usagi Yojimbo influence I think. I still enjoy Jonah Hex, but there is so much potential for more here.

I retract a bit about what I said – specifically regarding the "one-note" thing. While I still believe that Hex is that type of character, I’m not bored of the character, but rather Gray and Palmiotti’s bag of tricks with that character. Fifty issues in, and over forty stories later, I think we’ve seen them all twice over – and that’s what I’m tired of.

On that note, I honestly can’t disagree. The last 9 months or so has been a nice break from the norm. Hopefully we aren’t in for another long run of the status quo.

Still – this has me thinking of a Stan Sakai penned Jonah Hex with art by Darwyn Cooke. Damn that’d be awesome.

Invincible Iron Man #22, $2.99, Marvel Comics. Due Out 01/13/10 ON TIME
Written by Matt Fraction, Art by Salvador Larroca, Colors by Frank D’Armata

The restoration of Tony Stark apparantly failed. While those assembled to save him try and figure out what went wrong, Tony’s nightmare continues. Captain America brings in Doctor Strange to try and help figure out what went wrong with Tony’s procedure, and enters Tony’s dream to bring him out.

You know, as much as I enjoy this book, it usually suffers from the Act Two Blues. Meaning whenever it hits its second act, it starts to be more concerned about moving the chess pieces around than being entertaining. Not that I still wasn’t entertained (this book is still awesome), its just its not up to par with what it usually is.

It’s like it’s good – but it’s meh. This book is fast becoming a pale shadow of itself. Not that it isn’t good, but it is way too padded, and to be honest, I don’t care about what is happening. It seemed like this entire issue was little more than padding wrapped around a surprise guest appearance. Which is exactly what we got last month.

Fraction really needs to tighten it up a bit. Issue after issue after issue of nothing happening really doesn’t make for a great comic. At least during the last way-too-long arc there was some kind of antagonist to make things a tiny bit interesting. Here, we don’t even really have that.

I’ve really enjoyed this arc. Oddly enough, I think the best part has to be when Tony is explaining the plan – managing to apologize for being such a dick while simultaneously being a dick. Unfortunately, like many things, I think that this was a good two issue story that needed to be five to fit with the way Marvel’s publishing schedule shook out. Not ideal, but whatever. I still enjoy this immensely.

Spider-Man & The Secret Wars #2, $2.99, Marvel Comics Due Out 01/13/10 ON TIME
Written by Paul Tobin, Pencils by Patrick Scherberger, Inks by Terry Pallot, Colors by Brad Anderson

We are taken to Denver, where a depowered Thing and Spider-Man are checking to see if Reed’s holo-projectors are functioning correctly. As you may remember, Denver was transported to Battleworld during Secret Wars. Ben and Spider-Man get invited (ordered) to dinner by a civilian named Janet, where they learn about the Spindles – an alien race that is about to attack the city. They also discover Lockheed, and learn that Doom is in Denver as well. After watching Doom for a time, Doom tells them that he has discovered a machine that could grant incredible powers to ordinary people. The Spindles attack, and Doom joins forces with Spider-Man, Ben Grimm, and the people of Denver. In the aftermath of the attack, Doom takes Marsha Rosenberg and Mary MacPherran with him to the Beyonder’s machine (these two became Volcana and Titania respectively).

Man, I don’t know what exactly was going on with this whole Secret Wars thing back in the day, but if it’s anything like this (which I hear that it is and then some), it must’ve been straight up crazy. There’s a lot of ground covered here (Marvel and their writers then to make a concentrated effort to make a lot of their more all-ages fare done-in-one affairs that you can pick up any issue of) and its all done in a very concise manner. Oddly enough, though, as crazy as this is, I find myself being dissuaded from reading the main series – mostly because it seems like more of a bad kind of crazy than a good kind of crazy.

See now, this issue is just plain weird. Pretty much none of this happens in the actual Secret Wars event. You never really know where Volcana and Titania come from (if I recall correctly, it was kind of an assumption that they were from Denver), they just appear in Doom’s machine. Lockheed’s around in the first few issues, Doom created the two in issue 3 (I believe), and then the mere mention of Denver doesn’t really happen until Spider-Woman appears in issue 7.

In a way, this issue was kind of a disappointment. You have a suburb of a major city transported across the galaxy, and in Secret Wars proper, we see almost nothing of it. Here we finally get that chance – and everything seems normal? I found it odd that no one was panicked, and no one had issues transitioning from every day Joe-six-pack life to fighting against an alien invasion light years from home. This was an incredible missed opportunity. Yeah – the way Secret Wars panned out, there is a ton of room for a lot more story. You would think that Marvel would do a better job coming up with ideas.

You know, it occurs to me that we have quite a nice thing going in reviewing this book. I have absolutely no idea what happened in Secret Wars, and you do. So we’re coming at it from both angles. And from the angle of someone who hasn’t read the book, I’m definitely not lost. just weirded out by the way things seem to arbitrarily happen. I mean, Denver? Why, I ask you. Shenangians!

Well, that’s a familiar feeling. They never really did explain the whole “Denver” thing in Secret Wars in the first place. That another thing they could have addressed here, but ignored. Not only did they not explain why the Beyonder chose some random Denver Suburb, but they made the whole thing worse by making everyone who lived there generally calm and accepting of it. I didn’t think it could get any worse…

You are correct though… two different perspectives makes this series an interesting one to discuss. I suppose I shouldn’t taint you by forcing you to read Secret Wars until we are done with this…

How about this. For the May edition of the list, I’ll offer up a $40 bonus, much like we did with my viewing of the Star Wars movies. Sound good?

It might well be interesting to look at Secret Wars once again in retrospect, once this series finishes up. Something to look forward to!

Green Lantern Corps #44, $2.99, DC Comics. Due Out 01/20/10 ON TIME
Written by Peter J. Tomasi, Pencils by Patrick Gleason, Inks by Rebecca Buckman, Tom Nguyen, and Patrick Gleason, Colors by Randy Mayor

Mogo arrives at Oa and the Black Lanterns continue their fight for the Central Power Battery. Kyle wants to get the Red Ring off Guy, despite how effective he is with it – but Guy fights back, believing that Kyle really is dead, and its a trick. Salaak contacts Mogo, and learns he has received a directive to Purge Oa of all combatants to protect the battery – Green Lanterns included. Mogo absorbs the Black Lanterns while protecting the rest. Guy Gardner appears again – and prepares to attack all of the assembled Lanterns himself.

Boy howdy is this book full of all sorts of action. As someone who has to read all the Blackest Night crossover stuff, I really have to say that the book that has the most interesting stuff happening inside of it has to be this one. While the main series (and the Green Lantern book) tends to dribble out action in dribs and drabs (as opposed to handing out long, drawn out sequences where loved ones are turned into salt or where characters have to have long chats about how much they hate each other before banding together for the good of the galaxy) this book is delivering in spades. I know that he can move more product, but really, the next time they have a big event like this, the powers that be at DC should really think about having Tomasi at the helm – because I might actually enjoy his take on something big like this.

Oh, and specifically? This was a book where a giant planet "saved the day" by increasing its gravitational pull to suck all of the Black Lanterns down to its molten core where they will continually die again and again and again.

I think that was one of the most striking moments of the book. We know Mogo’s big – we know it’s powerful, but the dumbfounded look on all the Lanterns’ faces when it showed up at Oa was priceless. How does one fight alongside a planet – especially when you have no idea what the planet is going to do?

I can’t agree with you more about the rest of what you said. I honestly don’t think you even need to read the main Blackest Night event to enjoy the story. This title carries it well enough on its own.

Power Girl #8, $2.99, DC Comics. Due out 01/20/10 ON TIME
Written by Justin Gray and Jimmy Palmiotti, Pencils by Amanda Conner, Colors by Paul Mounts

Vartox and Power Girl fight off the Ix Negaspikes, and eventually find a way to subdue them. Power Girl agrees to share a meal with the aggressive Vartox. A little alcohol later, and Power Girl is at least open to discussing his problem, but quickly learns that Valerons don’t even have sex to reproduce, and she can help them by simply touching a machine.

In the end… Dr. Sivana???

Will Power Girl touch Vartox’s machine? Yeah, that still sounds dirty, but I assure you, there’s very little hanky panky in this comic. But would you believe that by the issue’s end, the potency of Power Girl and Vartox’s mating impregnates an entire planet – women and men. Because that’s how this comic rolls.

Yeah, this issue was straight-up weird. And anyone who takes issue with Power Girl’s over-sexed image should take a look at this issue and Vartox’s "evening wear." It is safe to say that this title is an equal opportunity offender.

There is no denying this title is total fluff – but it’s fun fluff. Everyone needs a book like this in their pull-box.

Deadpool: Merc With a Mouth #7, $3.99, Marvel Comics. Due Out 01/20/10 ON TIME
Written by Victor Gishler, Art by Bong Cazo, Jose Pimentel, Matt Milla, Kyle Baker, Rob Liefeld, and Das Pastoras

Deadpool and Zombie Deadpool’s head step through the portal, and first appear in a universe where "Major Wilson, Codename: Deadpool" is an Agent of SHIELD working for the United States of North America. Deadpool realizes he is in the wrong universe, so he turns to re-enter the portal, only to be captured by Major Wilson. Deadpool eventually escapes with the Zombie (after a little one-on-one fight). The next universe they encounter is one where a female Deadpool is a part of a rebellion against a fascist American government, represented by Captain America. After beating Cap, Deadpool discovers that it is weird to make out with an alternate female version of yourself. They then travel to an Old West reality where Deadpool is mistaken for the Deadpool Kid, and has a run-in with "Sheriff Fury" and a bounty hunter really similar to Wolverine. The real Deadpool Kid shows up, and Deadpool diffuses shooting his double in the head, a solution that satisfies Fury and Logan. One last trip through the portal, and Deadpool and Head return to Deadpool’s home reality, and are greeted by Brother VooDoo.

In this issue, nothing happened. No, seriously nothing happened. You literally cut out the part in both this issue and the last where Deadpool steps through the portal, and have Brother Voodoo show up, and the story would be no different. I say boo-urns to that, chums. Boo-urns to that indeed.

Seriously – a buck extra to see a few unimaginative alternate versions of Deadpool? This was absolutely horrible, and a waste of money to boot. It’s almost like Gishler is intentionally trying to make you hate this book. I think we need to talk a little more about this book a little farther down.

Wolverine: Weapon X #9, $3.99, Marvel Comics. Due Out 01/20/10 ON TIME
Written by Jason Aaron, Pencils by Yanick Paquette, Inks by Michael Lacombe, Color by Nathan Fairbairn

Melita Garner, sensing Logan’s call for help, puts a call in to a number Wolverine gave her a while ago, and Psylocke and Nightcrawler arrive to help. The pair teleport into the middle of Dr. Rot’s psychic bomb, which is nudging the violent tendancies of the asylum inmates. Psylocke diffuses the bomb, and Logan goes after Dr. Rot, who proves to be more resilient than he appears. Dr. Rot jury-rigs another brain-bomb, and makes his escape. Logan escapes – but Dr. Rot decides to contact him one last time, to check on something he discovered in his brain. It turns out buried in his mind is a kill-word, and Rot takes full advantage of it before finally disappearing.

There was quite a build to this issue, but holy crap, did things happen here. As an example, when Nightcrawler and Psyocke come to help Logan, Nightcrawler utters the line, "A giant crazy bomb made of human brains. What in God’s name have you gotten yourself into this time, Logan." And that’s just to start.

As good as this issue was, it really served to highlight some of the problems with the last few. We didn’t need this many issues to get here – some people might point to a "slow build" but I really don’t think we needed more than a single issue to set up Dr. Rot to make this issue and the story itself any better. It was well-written padding, but it was padding all the same. Heck, I am not even sure we really needed to read any of the first issues of this arc- I don’t think anyone would have a problem following what happened if they had only read this issue. The entire story was in this issue alone!

More or less, I agree. I think I would’ve been happy had the previous three been just two issues, actually. An issue to stumble around and introduce Dr. Rot – another to show how we got here and amp the conflict, and then this conclusion. But seriously, this is the book that has brought me brain bombs and bullets with 37 different kinds of cancer, so I’m willing to be a bit more forgiving. And hey, the next issue is a done-in-one, so we should be safe.

Nova #33, $2.99, Marvel Comics. Due Out 01/20/10 ON TIME
Written by Dan Abnett & Andy Lanning, Art by Andrea DiVito, Colors by Bruno Hang

Namorita, very much alive, awakens and pounces on Nova (at her point in the timestream, they are an item). After some discussion, the group of temporal refugees (Black Bolt, Reed Richards, Darkhawk, Namorita, and Nova) notice a younger version of the Sphinx attacking with a swarm of flying insect-like aliens.

The refugees gain a temporary victory, and hide in a pyramid to regroup. Something about the symbols inside the pyramid interact with Darkhawk’s amulet, and open a door opens, and the refugees are all entwined in some sort of energy web, where they picture how reality would be different if they made but one different choice. Everyone except for Darkhawk, who is free for some reason.

Darkhawks snaps the group out of the vision, frees them, and they find an agins Sphinx, bound to a machine. He reveals that he tried to warn his younger self in order to prevent being trapped in time for 6 millinea. His younger self indeed makes another choice, decides to turn on his older self and claim his Ka Stone, and become twice as powerful. The older Sphinx brought the temporal refugees to him to help defeat the young Sphinx, and avoid allowing him to tear reality apart with so much power.

The young Sphinx decides to bring his own champions to battle Nova and company – and the issue ends with the appearance of Bloodstone (Ulysses), Talon, Man-Wolf (John Jameson), Basilisk, and Moonstone.

I have to say, I’m excited about the villains that popped up at the end of this issue. I didn’t know who about half of them were, which means I’m going to enjoy the next issue quite a bit, as I can make some fake names for them. Like Teen Wolf and Snake Face and junk. Otherwise, this issue was solid, as always.

Well, "Teen Wolf" was around near the end of Slott’s She-Hulk run, so you should at least recognize him. I do agree – a solid issue as usual, and certainly a random assortment of characters to be pulled from nowhere. I have to wonder, if Sphinx could just draw anyone he wanted from time, couldn’t he do better?

I think that stupid, obscure characters are part of some kind of guild, Craig. Or, you know, when the Sphinx went around to Doom and all of them, they probably looked at him and went, "Who?"

Not a bad theory, except the old-man Sphinx managed to get Black Bolt and Reed Richards. I guess heroes are just suckers for old people.

Captain America #602, $3.99, DC Comics. Due Out 01/20/10 ON TIME
Written by Ed Brubaker & Sean McKeever, Pencils by Luke Ross & David Baldeon, Inks by Butch Guice & N. Bowling, Colors by Dean White & Chris Sotomayor

In this issue, it’s the triumphant return of Captain America! The comic, not the character. Bucky remains as the good Captain, and is now on the trail of the 50’s Cap, who is stirring up junk elsewhere. To go after him, he wrangles his black friend to go down south where people don’t take to kindly to his type, and junk goes down! Also: politics, which was sad to see, even if it was for a few seconds.

Meanwhile, this issue features the Reason Why We Picked Up Captain America: Nomad! Of course, it sounds danged odd saying that we grabbed an issue of the celebrated Brubaker run of Cap for a back-up featuring the female Bucky that Jeph Loeb and Rob Liefeld created back in the day, but there it is. In this issue, our hero continues to track down leads on the mysterious organization that was testing out some mind control stuff on her school. With some "help" from Arana, the two track down Mad Dog in the sewers and attempt to get some answers from the dog face lookin’ sonnovagun, but then: things happen! Oh no!

Let me get this straight. The only way Bucky can infiltrate a group of conservative protesters is to pretend to be a racist?

Sigh – seriously, why do liberals love protesters, until they disagree with them? And why is it that every liberal comic writer portrays everyone right of Clinton as racist, backwater hicks?

There is a time and a place for politics in comics. And even if you are trying to convey a certain political message in a story, how about doing it, instead of just taking a disgusting and ignorant shot at the people who disagree with you? You know, it actually is possible to make a case for something by actually discussing an idea, instead of taking an ignorant and offensive shot at the people who disagree with you. Want to have racist neo-nazi villains? Great, it’s Captain America. That’s the kind of thing he is supposed to be fighting. But how about NOT equating those people with 50% of the nation’s population? Especially in Captain America – you know, the title with the character that is supposed to transcend political ideology, and represent the ideal the country was founded on, not just one political group?

You should be damned ashamed of yourself for this trash, Brubaker.

Sigh – but again, you are right. We aren’t buying this title for Captain America, we are buying it for Nomad. And that aspect wasn’t half bad. It could have been better – and I think I could have done without Arana all together, but it was a decent start.

Brubaker actually falls into that trap quite frequently, equating more conservative views with shenangianism. Sometimes he does it with a touch of subtly, but not so much this time. It’s an ugly thing to see writers go for, and I don’t really like it in my comics… though I do see where he’s coming from.

Now, before I get yelled at for that, let me note that I do not agree with what Brubaker did. But I can draw a straight line from the BS on news punditry to this bit of writing. Unfortuantely, the nature of twenty-four hour news cycles means that only the most sensationally bombastic jerkwads are getting attention – and are focusing bad attention on those who have similar beliefs.

That’s something I have to disagree with you on. The thing is – the biggest “jerkwads” aren’t the ones getting the attention, at least on the Conservative side of the fence. The problem is in presentation. The default media presentation of anyone on the “right” in America is that they are somehow racist, or hold some other unspeakably vile ideology. One look at the last two elections will tell you anything you need to know. John McCain was (and is again) the media darling – heralded as a “maverick” who would reach across the aisle and go against his own party.

Until he was the presidential candidate, and then he was the personification of Satan himself. Suddenly, “maverick” was a word you laughed at.

I am afraid I can’t see where Brubaker is coming from at all. A belief in limited government doesn’t have a thing to do with race, and the fact that Ed Brubaker actually seems to think that it does simply demonstrates his own ignorance.

I could go on this rant for pages – but in pure comic terms, I think this kind of thing is highly disrespectful to this character. Captain America is supposed to be above politics. The fact that Brubaker seems to have no trouble polluting this book with uninformed, hateful rhetoric is really sad.

Craig, I wish to argue with you on the "jerkwad" point – but I’m pretty sure it would end with me vomiting my own blood. There’s not a single person on the 24 hour networks that I don’t want to punch in the face several times over for being stupid – and that’s all I’m saying.

But yeah, I agree that Brubaker went a bit too far with his plot on this one. I think this arc might be a write off, unfortunately.

Thank God we are just buying this one for the back-up.

Joe the Barbarian #1 (of 8), $1.00, DC Comics Due Out 01/20/10 ON TIME
Written by Grant Morrison, Pencils by Sean Murphy, Colors by Dave Stewart

Okay, so Joe is this kid who has the diabetes, and is made fun of at school (except for that one girl, who seems to like him despite what others think). So anyway, one day he goes home, and Optimus Prime and… oh, let’s say Snake Eyes tell him that he needs to save Toyland, or something. Also, there’s Batman.

You know what the best part of this issue was? That it only cost me a dollar to see how utterly horrible it was. There was nothing about this story that made sense at all – outside the clichéd "loser kid that the cute girl seems to like for some reason, despite it all." I said last month that I hoped this book would be more WE3 than Seaguy – instead we got the worst possible scenario: a story that made Seaguy and WE3 seem not so different in comparison. Bad, bad, bad. Pretty though – poor Sean Murphy, who’d he **** off to get saddled with a story like this?

I actually didn’t think this book was bad so much as unexplained. No reason has been given for Joe’s trip down the rabbit hole – at least not one you could build a solid case for, yet. But if you’re looking for a reason Sean Murphy was given a shorter shift, I would say it would be because this is pretty much his first assignment for the big two that wasn’t a fill-in. Stunning work by him, though.

The good news is, I think it’s a pretty safe bet that we will be seeing Sean Murphy around again in the future.

As to why I find this story so bad – its pretty simple. You said it yourself – no reason was given for Joe’s trip down the "rabbit hole." All we got in this story were elements we have seen in other stories time and time again. Living toys – loser dudes – "the rabbit hole." Overused elements that have, at one time or another, already been done as well as they possibly could.

Even if this weren’t a comic (and my philosophy about proper serial storytelling has been beaten to death), you can’t borrow well-worn story elements this brazenly without doing something right off the bat to make the story unique. Morrison just crammed a bunch of weird stuff together, and counted on comic fans to simply drool "oooh, look how imaginative this is."

Even laying these criticisms aside, Morrison’s strength (at least, the Morrison of today) lies in his beginnings. The best modern Morrison stories tend to start strong, and then limp across the finish line.

If this story is this poor at the outset, it pretty well has no hope of being worth letting it build.

I think I can see where you’re coming from – even if I don’t quite agree with it being "bad". Unimaginative, maybe – but not "bad". And I agree with your "serialized fiction" thing. If you intend to serialize your story, there better be something compelling in each part of the story. In this case, they have failed you. (But I like it.)

Avengers: The Initiative #32, $2.99, Marvel Comics. Due Out Due Out 01/27/10 ON TIME
Written by Christos N. Gage, Pencils by Mahmud Asrar, Inks by Rebecca Buchman, Colors by Jay David Ramos.

It’s Taskmaster vs. Thor! Wait, really? Yeah, turns out that Tasky has taken a good long look at his current situation and the road he’s taken to get there, and he’s decided that now that he’s been forced into the big leagues, he might as well step up as much as he can in order to survive and be awesome. Meanwhile, Snake-Hands and Diamond Boobs have a lover’s quarrel, and one of them is totally going to die by the end of this. Just sayin’.

A decent follow-up to last month’s Taskmaster issue. I get the strange feeling that Taskmaster is going to be dead at the end of this, and not Constrictor or Diamondback. I think Gage has longer plans in mind here – it wasn’t too long ago that we got a similar Constrictor story to the Taskmaster one we have here – but there he was actually discovering that being a hero wasn’t so bad. I get the sense that Diamondback is going to be exposed before long (or put in danger), and Constrictor is going to have to decisively declare for the good guys before long. Which will make the Constrictor/Taskmaster angle all the better, because they have pretty obviously become friends.

That’s always the best thing about this book – long-term character development. Gage is awesome.

I agree. As I said before, I was almost ready to write this book off after the Secret Invasion stuff went down, as the initial Dark Reign arc was… well, it was what it was: a wrap-up to Dan Slott’s leftover strings, and a way to a fresh start for Gage. But man, has Gage stepped up and made this book relevant. Good stuff.

Late and Unreleased Titles

Ghost Riders: Heavens on Fire #6 (of 6), $3.99, Marvel Comics. Due out 12/09/09 DELAYED – 02/03/10

The List So Far

Jonah Hex #52, $2.99, DC Comics. Due Out 02/03/10
Invincible Iron Man #23, $2.99, Marvel Comics. Due Out 02/03/10
Spider-Man & The Secret Wars #3, $2.99, Marvel Comics Due Out 02/10/10
Green Lantern Corps #45, $2.99, DC Comics. Due Out 02/17/10
Power Girl #9, $2.99, DC Comics. Due out 02/17/10
Deadpool: Merc With a Mouth #8, $2.99, Marvel Comics. Due Out 02/17/10
Wolverine: Weapon X #10, $3.99, Marvel Comics. Due Out 02/03/10
Nova #34, $2.99, Marvel Comics. Due Out 02/03/10
Captain America #603, $3.99, Marvel Comics Due Out 02/17/10
Joe the Barbarian #2 (of 8), $2.99, DC Comics Due Out 02/17/10
Avengers: The Initiative #33, $2.99, Marvel Comics. Due Out 02/24/10

As it stands right now, things are strong on the money side. Ghost Riders is essentially over, just delayed another week – and that issue was already paid for out of last month’s budget. As it stands, we have more than enough money to pick up the required new book, without dropping any.

This doesn’t mean I don’t think we should drop any – in fact, there are two I feel deserve the boot.

The first is Deadpool: Merc With a Mouth. It pains me as a Deadpool fanboy to say this, but the book just isn’t doing it. Issue #7 was just insult to injury. An extra-sized issue for a dollar more, for no reason at all? And for a bad issue to boot? This is one I am happy to let go, and I think it is time we moved on from it.

I was done with this, I think, by issue three or four, so you’re not going to get any arguments out of me here.

Consider it done.

DROPPED

Deadpool: Merc With a Mouth #8, $2.99, Marvel Comics. Due Out 02/17/10

The second is Joe the Barbarian.I am not even remotely interested in seeing where this one goes…

That’s because you are swine, Craig. I really liked the way this began – but if I’m being honest, it’s purely due to the art. Morrison’s writing didn’t really offer anything new. Yet. But I’m not married to keeping this book if your bile is overwhelming.

Despite the fact that comics are a visual medium, I strongly believe that great art can’t carry a horrible story. A mediocre story? Sure? A boring one? Yeah, kinda. But a flat-out bad one, no way in the world. This issue might have been so poorly written that the whole of human artistic achievement was lessened as a result. Yeah, it’s an exaggeration, but that’s how bad this was. Of course, I really shouldn’t be surprised…

Feh. In any case, I believe we can consider this book dropped.

DROPPED

Joe the Barbarian #2 (of 8), $2.99, DC Comics Due Out 02/17/10

New Titles

Well, as it stands now, we have room for a few new books this month – more than we have had in quite some time.

To start with, I would like to suggest a little something you have your girly pants in a bunch over:

Demo #1 (of 6), $2.99, DC Comics. Due out 02/03/10

The last time I catered to your strange loves, we ended up with something pretty decent – so I figure it would be worth trying it again.

This list could’ve done with a bit more hot Wood. Yayyy!

You are a frightening man sometimes B… and sometimes I can’t blame the Maple Syrup in your blood, which makes it all the more frightening…

Anywa… dropping Deadpool: Merc With a Mouth, I thought that maybe it would be a good time to try another Deadpool book. They are having that wacky Deadpool Variant month in February, so it seems like a good time. How about:

Deadpool Team-Up #896, $2.99, Marvel Comics. Due out 02/03/10

Sounds good to me. An upcoming solicit for this book has them showing a team-up with Frankencastle, so this should be awesome!

Outstanding! Anything else come to mind?

Well, our list tends to lean quite heavily toward the Marvel side of things, so let’s indie this up a bit with some Choker from Image. Ben "This Can’t Be My Real Name" McCool and Ben Templesmith making something that looks like its got some jagged edges, and could poke an eye out.

Well, our track record with Image is poor – there something about that publisher and deadlines not meshing well. But I think it’s worth a shot.

Choker #1, $3.99, Image Comics. Due out 02/10/10

February List

Ghost Riders: Heavens on Fire #6 (of 6), $3.99, Marvel Comics. Due out 01/27/10 DELAYED – 02/03/10

Jonah Hex #52, $2.99, DC Comics. Due Out 02/03/10
Invincible Iron Man #23, $2.99, Marvel Comics. Due Out 02/03/10
Deadpool Team-Up #896, $2.99, Marvel Comics. Due out 02/03/10
Demo #1 (of 6), $2.99, DC Comics. Due out 02/03/10
Wolverine: Weapon X #10, $3.99, Marvel Comics. Due Out 02/03/10
Nova #34, $2.99, Marvel Comics. Due Out 02/03/10
Choker #1, $3.99, Image Comics. Due out 02/10/10
Spider-Man & The Secret Wars #3, $2.99, Marvel Comics Due Out 02/10/10
Green Lantern Corps #45, $2.99, DC Comics. Due Out 02/17/10
Power Girl #9, $2.99, DC Comics. Due out 02/17/10
Captain America #603, $3.99, Marvel Comics Due Out 02/17/10
Avengers: The Initiative #33, $2.99, Marvel Comics. Due Out 02/24/10

The Math
$1.91 (Bank from January) + $40 (January Budget) = $41.91
$41.91 – $38.88 (February issues) – $3.01 (tax) = $.09 Banked for March

Wow – that’s about the closest we have come to our budget cap in some time. Looks like we will be virtually guaranteed a drop next month. Which can only make things interesting.

Next month: Chlamydia!

No B, that’s this month. Next month’s little people wearing green.

Double chlamydia it is then. Hell, triple if I’m feeling sexy.

Yeah… I think I am just going to leave it at that. See you all again in 28.

January 4, 2010

PETA’s Comic

Filed under: News & Miscellaneous — Craig Reade @ 11:15 pm

I sent away for this about 6 years ago… right at the beginning of my “comic journalist” career. It was intended to be given to children of Mothers who were wearing fur, but the letter does caution that you shouldn’t give the “comic” to children under 13.

Your Mom Kills Animals - the PETA comic from 2003

Reading this again – it makes me all the more disgusted by that group.

If you want to save animals, actually work to help them, like the Humane Society.  For all PETA’s talk, they do nothing but get themselves attention, and all of their antics don’t save a single animal.

Post your comments in the Forum!

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The $40 Pull List – January 2010

Filed under: The $40 Pull List — Craig Reade @ 12:36 am

January, 2010

Welcome once again to another installment of the $40 Pull List Live!

Yes, yes, hello to all our rabid fans! Shout-out to our home fries down in The OC and junk. My name is Brandon Schatz, and with me in the Spam Corporate Annex in the beautiful industrial district of Nanuktuk California is the man behind this madness, the one, the (thankfully) only, Craigerton J. Reade!

Are you trying to get me stoned when I go back home? Oiy!

Anyway, welcome once again to this humble column. This is our the third anniversary of this all-important list, and the first anniversary of Brandon’s triumphant arrival to the column. There are but five titles remaining from the list just a year ago (Jonah Hex, Invincible Iron Man, Green Lantern Corps, Nova, and Avengers), with Jonah Hex being the sole title that has been with us from the beginning. Quite a run that title has had.

Which means we can look forward to it getting cancelled by the end of the year, right? I mean, there’s a movie out in everything!

Also, peace to my chili dogs too. Who are also from The OC.

Why don’t you take your”the” and shove it up your…

Moving on!

JANUARY ISSUES

Jonah Hex #50, $3.99, DC Comics. Due Out 12/02/09 ON TIME
Written by Justin Gray & Jimmy Palmiotti, Art by Darwyn Cooke, Colors by Rob Schwager

Tallulah Black and Jonah Hex begin taking jobs together, and after "celebrating" a successful payday overnight in a bar, Tallulah vanishes in the morning and rides off towards the west. Horace Green approaches Hex on behalf of oil tycoon Arlan Miston with a book of 50 bounties. After some protest, Hex starts working his way down the list.
Meanwhile, Tallulah Black arrives in a town looking for a dress shop, claiming she has left behind her work. She meets with a sheriff who eyes her with suspicion, but eventually welcomes her to the town.

Eventually, the rest of Hex’s targets meet in secret, trying to find a way to end Jonah and save their own skin. They decided that they would be safer in a group – and they set the wheels in motion for trapping and eliminating Hex.

Forward several months, and we see Tallulah Black, remade into a happy woman with child, still being helped by the same sheriff. She buys a plot of land, and with the help of the sheriff builds herself a home on it. By the first snowfall, the house is complete.

Their preparations complete, the bounties spring their trap by sending Eddie Runford to tell Jonah that he overheard that the men were holed up in Silver Springs – the very same town Tallulah now lives, and where she is about to give birth. The "bounties" raid the town, killing the sheriff, and taking it over, as Tallulah is attacked by the whacky fundamentalist dressmaker who wants to cut the child of sin out of her. She succeeds – basically performing a violent c-section, and kidnapped the baby, leaving Tallulah to die on the floor. Hex finds and saves her, and promises to rescue his son. He finally tracks the kidnapper, who has been locked up for murdering the baby. The sheriff tries to protect his prisoner, but eventually decides that Hex should be allowed his vengeance. Hex kills his daughter’s murderer, then goes to complete the list of 50 bounties, before returning his child’s body in a coffin to her mother – departing, as he promised, ending his relationship with Tallulah for her actions.

This issue of Jonah Hex totally reminds me of the episode of Glee, where Shu finds out that his wife was entirely faking her pregnancy – except instead of singing, there’s frontier justice. Come to think of it, Jonah Hex would be much more awesome if the characters occasionally broke out into song. In fact, I want a scene where Jonah wistfully looks off into the distance, as he recites the final stanza of 99 Luft Balloons.

Officially, from here on out, you are not allowed to be reminded of Glee by this title.

This issue was a piece of perfection. It totally broke the usual Hex formula we usually come to expect (and which it would be so easy to slip back into after the Six-Gun War), had some real character development, and was chock full of real story. And the art was fantastic – I want Cooke on this title permanently.

In no way would a musical number make this issue much more awesome.

Or Shipoopi. I want to see Jonah Hex going balls-out Buddy Hackett on alla’ everyone, clicking his heels, singing about love. It would’ve been perfect for this issue.

“Now a woman who’ll kiss on a very 1st date, Is usually a hussy….”

I don’t really think Hex is going to be so tame as to all any deserving woman a mere hussy.

You, sir, do not properly respect the power of Shipoopi.

I certainly do not.

Nova #32, $2.99, Marvel Comics. Due Out 12/03/09 ON TIME
Written by Dan Abnett & Andy Lanning, Art by Andrea DiVito, Colors by Bruno Hang

Nova and Darkhawk, very much alive, fall in the desert before a statue of a sphinx (with a skeleton head). They quickly learn that their lives have been spared by an unlikely hero – The Sphinx, who has saved Richard to serve a specific purpose.

Briefly, for those of you who aren’t familiar with him, The Sphinx was Ramses’ chief wizard – exiled by the Pharaoh after he was defeated by Moses in their "wizards duel." He eventually found the Ka Stone, which granted him nearly god-like powers. After several millennia, he grew bored of his existence and searched for a way to get rid of the Ka Stone, and finally encountered Richard Rider, who he believed held the knowledge that would free him (thanks to his exposure to Worldmind). After a battle with Galactus, a few run-ins with the Fantastic Four (Thing in particular) and the New Warriors, and some time-travel shenanigans, the Sphinx was finally killed by the Puppet Master. At least – so we thought.

The Sphinx alludes to a role he is expected to play in some forthcoming battle – warns that some djinns will come, and on cue they attack under the cover of a sandstorm. The Sphinx is disappointed at their prowess in battle, abandoning them to the sand, but Nova eventually disperses the djinn. The duo finally encounter Reed Richards at a dig near the battle-site and they figure out that The Sphinx has also drawn Reed back in time – this being the Reed Richards from just a month after Nova and the Fantastic Four first met and fought The Sphinx.

The djinn’s attack once more – this time separating Nova and Darkhawk, to battle Darkhawk alone. A version of Black Bolt arrives – and Darkhawk finally returns from his battle, to report that they aren’t on Earth at all, but rather a magical construct of some kind. Black Bolt’s "mummified" companion is unwrapped – revealing an unconscious Narmorita (the original version – not the blue one).

I recognized almost every person in this book – which actually made this fairly boring for me. Normally, when I read space books, I have the internal monologue of fake names I’ve crafted for all the characters in my head. But this pretty much concerned Reed Richards, Darkhawk, Nova, and King Tut. Blah!

That’s not to say that is was bad in any kind of way. It was actually pretty rockin’ and junk. But when you’re used to dudes with ponytails jacking giant planets in the face, it all sort of pales in comparison.

Yeah – as an issue of Nova goes, I have to admit that this one was pretty tame – at least when it came to the cosmic stuff. There is an element of it there, which I have no doubt will be expanded upon this month. For my part – I just love the fact that Abnett and Lanning are going back to the old well of Nova villains to give them a little polish. Maybe we’ll get to see some Condor – or Psionex … something like that, a few months down the road.

It’s also nice to see Reed Richards in this as well. Nova was always closely tied to the Fantastic Four, especially in the early days. Given the right circumstances, that old alliance could make for some decent stories.

Abnett and Lanning used Condor in Guardians of the Galaxy in two of the earlier issues. And fun fact about Psionex, kids: much like old Nova comics, they’re terrible.

Well, since you are totally wrong about old Nova comics, does this make you wrong about Psionex as well?

That’s the thing – Sphinx was pretty horrible too, but here he has a shot. I am still waiting for an upgraded Diamondhead to come back with a vengeance and get a little payback for Nova #2. That would be 40 shades of awesome.

I don’t want Diamondhead to come back, mostly because this site’s content filters would totally black out the fake name I gave him in my head. A silly reason, but we are talking about me here.

My, the mind that came up with *****head is a strange one indeed.

Ghost Riders: Heavens on Fire #5 (of 6), $3.99, Marvel Comics. Due out 12/09/09 ON TIME
Written by Jason Aaron, Pencils by Roland Boschi, Colors by Dan Brown

We open with this dude, who is totally metal standing over the wreckage of heaven, where there’s dead angels and junk littering the streets. Quite obviously, there will soon be a reckoning. But first! It’s zombie bikers (and the All New Orb!) vs. a crap ton o’ nuns with guns and the Ghost Riders! Meanwhile, Purple Hat and Wicker Man get all smacked by the Emo Skank and Pitchfork McGee and the Antichrist opens up the gate to heaven! It was entirely like one of those after school specials, where the answer was inside you all along, only in this case there’s the fate of the world hanging in the balance. Aaaanyhoo, a bunch of people die, and the brothers Ghost Rider all make it up to heaven for the big final battle. Will they win? WILL THEY? We’ll have to tune in next time…

Ah, after two issues of tease – the Gun Nuns were very much worth waiting for. That’s classic funny right there.

Dude, you should’ve been hanging around this book at the beginning, when the machine gun nurses were after Johnny. It all blew up in this big confrontation with a cannibal, a possessed highway, and lots and lots of shooting. Seriously, I don’t know where I’m going to find something this fun once this wraps itself up. Le sigh.

Well, I’d say maybe there is hope for another mini, but knowing Marvel, that isn’t likely. The sales are pretty low… but then, it is a mini, so who knows. It is true that this title is pure fun, and it is safe to say that it is completely unlike anything else on the market right now. Sadly, originality and quality seem to be things that the average comic reader just doesn’t enjoy these days, which means next issue is likely the last. Oh well – the ride was good while it lasted.

Invincible Iron Man #21, $2.99, Marvel Comics. Due Out 12/09/09 ON TIME
Written by Matt Fraction, Art by Salvador Larroca, Colors by Frank D’Armata

We return once again to Tony’s nightmare – only this time, he manages to get it to progress a little farther. Meanwhile Madame Masque has a conversation with Ghost – who she is attempting to hire to kill Tony Stark once and for all. Pepper grapples with her feelings when the newly returned Steve Rogers arrives and spurs everyone to action. Tony undergoes the surgery to bring him back "online," and we see the process by which Pepper and Maria were used to reach this end from the very beginning – and why Captain America and Thor were needed to finish the job.

Fraction has crafted quite the story here. While Tony Stark makes his demands from beyond the grave, he sounds so arrogant – yet at the very same time, he seems to be apologizing to each of them for the mistakes he’s made in the past. All the while, the story moves at that pace, just a few seconds removed into the future, with all its super-heroic tech talk. You know that what’s being said is completely fake, but spoken with such conviction that you’re convinced that such a confluence of events will in fact bring old Tony back to the land of the living. I enjoy the crap out of this book – and hey, would you look at that? It’s not even going to be part of the impending Siege crossover. You really have to give it to Marvel for not forcing these things.

Thank goodness for that. The last thing this book needs is to be shoehorned into another crossover. So many Marvel titles (DC titles too, but that’s another discussion) are badly broken from being crammed into event after event. It’s nice to see that is shaking out, if only a little bit. This title can only benefit from being left out of this next event – it will give it at least 2 arcs to develop and grow on its own. I am looking forward to seeing that.

This arc has been far better than the last one – short, sweet – to the point, and meaningful. Let’s hope Fraction sticks to this formula for the next couple stories.

Spider-Man & The Secret Wars #1, $2.99, Marvel Comics Due Out 12/09/09 ON TIME
Written by Paul Tobin, Pencils by Patrick Scherberger, Inks by Terry Pallot, Colors by Brad Anderson

We start with a famous scene from Secret Wars – the Hulk lifting the mountain to protect the heroes trapped beneath. We flash back near the beginning of the story, when the newly arrived Spider-Man, Hulk, and Captain America try to make sense out of the Beyonder’s reasoning. They come upon Enchantress, who attacks them, but Hulk quickly puts a stop to the assault. Captain Marvel returns from her scouting mission to report the imminent arrival of the Wrecking Crew. Cap and Spidey have a argument about the Hulk, we flash through a few disastrous encounters with various villains, and we finally see the resolution of Hulk’s battle with the mountain.

You know, I haven’t read Secret Wars? Or Crisis on Infinite Earths, or pretty much anything older than when I got into comics. I have most of these things, but time… she’s a harsh mistress when you’re trying to keep up with the current product hitting the store. Needless to say, I’m coming at this pretty fresh, and I have to say… this is pretty decent. Obviously, there’s a certain challenge involved in taking a twelve issue mini and condensing it to a four issue series – but right off the bat, Paul Tobin squeezed in what has to be at least a quarter of the original mini, without feeling too rushed. Solid work.

Not to be too argumentative, but you got it exactly wrong there. There is no way in the world that any comic produced by today’s standards could condense the 12 issue Secret Wars into a mere 4 issues. In fact, what we saw in this issue didn’t really cover an entire issue’s worth of plot from the original event. Instead of recapping the entire story, it seems like this series is taking bits and pieces of the original, expanding on them somewhat, and telling it from a slightly different perspective. It’s well done – don’t get me wrong, but it barely scratches the surface of the goings on in Secret Wars.

Comics these days are mostly padding and fluff. If they stuffed as much story in today’s comics as they did when Secret Wars was made, they could raise the cost to $5 an issue, and it would be worth it.

Yeah, that would be my big ol’ lack of “old comics” knowledge bleeding through. If it happened before Sensational Spider-Man #0, I really don’t know what I’m talking about. Not that I don’t have these things, it’s just… there’s not enough time in the day, it seems.

Well – this is hardly the worst classic you haven’t seen that might call your geek-cred into question. But this is hardly new – I imagine there are a ton of comic readers out there who haven’t read this series either. One reason I am kind of surprised this title wasn’t released at the same time a shiny new Secret Wars hardcover was released.

Green Lantern Corps #43, $2.99, DC Comics. Due Out 12/16/09 ON TIME Written by Peter J. Tomasi, Pencils by Patrick Gleason, Inks by Rebecca Buckman, Tom Nguyen, and Patrick Gleason, Colors by Randy Mayor

Right, so Kyle totally dies, and Guy is all “No! My best friend and easy lover!” Because of this, he becomes a Red Lantern. Meanwhile, all these black rings are coming for Kyle, which his girlfriend doesn’t like. But instead of crawling into a fridge, she fights for her man, and ends up bringing him back with the power of love alone, just like the end of Rent, when Roger cured Mimi’s rampant AIDS through the power of his rock voice.

Yes, it’s going to be that kind of Pull List.

And Kyle Rayner yet lives. Man – who needs the Blackest Night event itself when you have this title? I was so amped by the idea of Blackest Night for so long – the disappointment over how horrible that event has been so far would have been neigh unbearable had this title not delivered the awesome. This book also proves that you really don’t need to buy every crossover issue to enjoy an event. This book alone will give you all of the Blackest Night enjoyment you could possibly need.

Also? A Red/Green Lantern Guy Gardner is friggin’ awesome.

This change of fortune for Kyle has me renewing my stance on Guy Gardner’s fate during this mini: dude is entirely going to die. I don’t want him to, but if he goes out like any of the other Lanterns have on this book, he’ll be going out big.

I am actually feeling a bit of the opposite. Not only do I think there will be no deaths at all in this event that will stick, I actually think it is going to undo a few we have seen. We’ve gone from one extreme to another – for a time, both Marvel and DC were making an honest effort to maintain “dead means dead.” Now it seems like they are in a race to see which can make death the most meaningless of states in comics. With Blackest Night, I get the feeling they are going to take things to a new low.

As cool as this issue was, and as much of a relief it is that Kyle isn’t dead – a part of me is kind of ticked he is back already. He died – and he went out like a champ. Over the last 30 days, I made peace with that. Only… it was a lie. And it wasn’t even one of those cliffhanger bait-and switches where you see an explosion and not the body – he was dead and gone, and his ring was even moving on. Poor taste really- you kill a character the right way, only to say “Psyche!!” a month later.

The only way you could make this death worse is to have Elektra kill him off panel in the next issue.

Craig, has the Princess Bride taught you nothing? That dude was only mostly dead, and there was true love waiting for him on the other side. In space. Or something.

Obviously the Star Sapphires have perfected Miracle Max’s miracle pill…

Good thing the dude wasn’t looking to blayve.

Nomad: The Girl Without A World #4, $3.99, DC Comics. Due Out 12/16/09 ON TIME
Written by Sean McKeever, Pencils by David Baldeon, Colors by Chris Sotomayor

Nomad breaks free and attacks an unsuspecting Mad Dog and Professor Power, who are scrambling with damage control after the students unexpectedly riot. Some of Nomad’s school friends come together with a plan to help diffuse the riot, and just before the Police move in to contain the violence, Nomad and the cavalry (in the form of the Young Avengers) arrive to lend a hand.

Professor Power and Mad Dog turn on the Secret Empire, in anger over their insistence that the two return to "answer for their failure," and the Young Avengers manage to diffuse the riot with the help of Desmond Daniels. In the end, all is not well – as John Barnes is gunned down by Matt Surman in the aftermath of the riot – convinced that violence then was the way to have their voices heard. In the end, Rikki is consoled by Bucky (as Captain America) at the grave of John as Black Widow looks on from the distance.

To be continued in Captain America #602, huh?

And thank goodness for that. If someone told me a few scant months ago that I would be wishing to see more of the female Bucky created by Jeph Loeb and Rob Liefeld, I would’ve probably made more references to musicals at them. But it seems like Sean McKeever, when left to his own devices, can tell pretty awesome stories with almost any character. As I’ve said before, looking at this book, and a book like Teen Titans really shows you just how different Marvel and DC handle their talent.

True enough. Marvel’s editorial only makes an effort to ruin great titles when they are selling well. DC doesn’t look at sales figures when they decide what to meddle with…

I’ve got to hand it to you – Nomad was awesome, and it has me wanting to read Captain America again. So there is that…

Power Girl #7, $2.99, DC Comics. Due out 12/16/09 ON TIME
Written by Justin Gray and Jimmy Palmiotti, Pencils by David Baldeon, Colors by Chris Sotomayor

Vartox, the Hyperman of Valeron, engages an army of Kashkavon’s (Yeti Pirates?), and believes himself to be victorious, until he learns that the attack is a mere distraction. The Kashkavon detonate a "Contraceptive Bomb" in the heart of Crystal City, sterilizing the populace, and ensuring the death of their civilization. To avert the disaster, the Cosmosis Crystalis reveals a list of suitable women to Vartox (who escaped the Contraceptive Bomb), and he selects Power Girl as the woman who will bear the beginnings of a new Valerian race.

On Earth, Power Girl and Doctor Mid-Nite are in pursuit of the Blue Snowman, whom they easily subdue. At that moment, Vartox arrives to lay claim to Kara. He shoots at her with the Seduction Musk Rifle, which hits Doctor Mid-Nite, which knocks him out and may have stricken him with blindness (ha!). The Blue Snowman comes to, having breathed in a dose of the Musk, reveals herself as a woman, and offers herself to Vartox.

Vartox is impressed with Power Girl’s ability to resist the musk, and arranges for a demonstration to prove his manly worth to her. He produces an Ix Negaspike, an enormous fearsome creature capable of devouring entire planets, and plans to subdue the creature on his own. The Blue Snowman leaps into action to defend her new love, and she is subsequently eaten in seconds. Vartox’s plan goes awry when the transport leash is destroyed, and the creature is set free, unrestrained. Power Girl attacks the creature, and in a grave miscalculation, freezes it and shatters it to pieces. But, as the Ix Negaspike is indestructible and reproduces asexually, in reality, she only manages to facilitate the creature’s reproduction.

It appears as though Gray and Palmiotti are concocting a sly crossover with Jonah Hex here – as Rape seems to be hanging around the edges of this comic. Sure, its a more modern take on Rape, but you would expect him to change a bit between Hex and here.

Well, Rape did have the month off over at Jonah Hex, though there was a disgusting amount of Consensual Sex happening over there. It was almost invoking Rape’s return.

Speaking of crossovers, I have to say that this book had a real similar feel to Ghost Riders this month. Sure, there wasn’t the Hellfire and Brimstone, but there was a good deal of total ridiculousness. A Contraceptive Bomb? Yeti Pirates? An alien superstud on the prowl for a worthy mate to help him repopulate a species? That head ship? The Seduction Musk Rifle? This was camp through and through, and plain awesome to boot. I know when I first saw this title I was hoping for a more serious take on Power Girl – but I am more than happy with this kind of silliness.

Deadpool: Merc With a Mouth #6, $2.99, Marvel Comics. Due Out 12/16/09 ON TIME
Written by Victor Gishler, Pencils by Bong Dazo, Colors by Matt Milla, Inks by Jos Pimentel

Deadpool and company crash in a marsh, in search of a dimentional portal – through which he intends to send the head of Zombie Deadpool to his home reality. Their quest isn’t an easy one – on their way, they are attacked by Man-Thing and Lord Falcon. Deadpool and company escape unscathed – and Deadpool takes his Zombie Head and enters the portal alone.

I think I enjoyed this issue. I say I think, because I really don’t remember much about this story. I remember laughing a couple of times, and watching everyone move through the motions, but what can I say. This Deadpool title just isn’t grabbing me like I’d like it to.

I really can’t disagree with you. This book is a ton of fluff – but stacking it up to Power Girl shows it isn’t even pulling out the fluff particularly well. I dunno – I think I am game to try out the first issue of the next arc, but if we don’t see improvement, I may well be willing to send this book packing.

Agreed.

Wolverine: Weapon X #8, $3.99, Marvel Comics. Due Out 12/23/0 ON TIME
Written by Jason Aaron, Pencils by Yanick Paquette, Inks by Michael Lacombe, Color by Nathan Fairbairn

Enter the "hot sexy nurse," strolling down the hall, unwittingly stumbling upon a gruesome scene of blood and death. Because that’s always the way it goes. Wolverine – the perpetrator, cuts the lights, and comes upon the frightened nurse, who begs for her life. Logan pauses… and the nurse inexplicably berates him for sparing her life.

Ah… an illusion.

Logan breaks free, but is put down by a dose of gas, courtesy of Dr. Rot.

Cut to a flashback, and we finally see how Logan got himself imprisoned in Rot’s sanatorium. After a brief recap of those events, Logan finds himself strapped to the table, as Dr. Rot tries to get at his brain. Somehow, Logan manages to call for help – and the sanatorium is about to receive a few different visitors.

Why, it’s Craig’s favourite narration trick! Flashback storytelling! Yayyyy!

Right, so we’re nearing the end of this particular story, and I have to say… I’ve been enjoying it, but it doesn’t have the same spark as the first arc did (which was not on the list). I mean… in that one, Wolverine was being hunted down by people with claws made of out lifesavers, who had guns that shot bullets filled with over thirty kinds of cancer – so anything following that is going to be faced with some stiff comparison.

But we are talking Wolverine here, so the fact that it’s not boring me to tears is a pretty good sign. Did you know that guy is the best he is at what he does? Someone should spread that around.

Honestly, the flashback didn’t bother me in this issue – mostly because it was done correctly. We weren’t bouncing around all over the place in some sad attempt at artsy non-linear storytelling. The time was right to reveal that information, especially since other characters were finally coming into the picture. The flashback served a purpose – and for that reason it was totally acceptable.

I have to admit that I am not in love with this arc. It’s well written – but I do like a different sort of Wolverine story – even a different type of cerebral Wolverine story. But it works – and it hasn’t even occurred to me to consider dropping this one.

Avengers: The Initiative #31, $2.99, Marvel Comics. Due Out 12/23/09 ON TIME
Written by Christos N. Gage, Pencils by Rafa Sandoval, Inks by Roger Bonet, Colors by Edgar Delgado.

Taskmaster’s party is interrupted by a call from Norman Osborn, who intends to visit Camp HAMMER in the morning. Taskmaster rushes into action, and tours the Camp to make sure everything is ready. Meanwhile, Osborn and The Hood talk about Taskmaster’s merits, and how it all ties into a project of Osborn’s called "The Cabal."

The Avengers Resistance gets settled into their new hideout, Taskmaster and Constrictor have a little heart-to-heart, and Osborn arrives to inspect the troops. Taskmaster finally receives the offer of a promotion he was expecting – and after first enjoying the new level of power he gained, one bad encounter with Doom makes him have second thoughts about what is to come.

I had a lot of file customers at the store complain about how ridiculous it was that Taskmaster was invited to the same table as Doom – which, to be fair, they are right about… there is something ridiculous about a dude what wears a Skeletor looking mask (and just so happens to have a photographic memory of every kind of fighting style ever) sitting at the same table as a dude that had his face blown off so hard that he essentially became evil and the ruler of his own country. Also ridiculous? There’s a freaking God of Mischief there too. It’s freaking comics people.

But anyway, this issue should sate those people’s thirst for downfall, as Tasky is shown to be quite out of his element at the “big boy” table. After all, he’s just in it to get paid and laid… not necessarily to be evil, per say.

Funny thing about those gripes is – that was the whole point of the story. How else does one move up in the ranks than by establishing himself as a good and intelligent leader? I would say it is equally ridiculous that Osborne has a place there… Doom could easily have done to Norman what he did to Tasky. They aren’t there because of their power-levels, they are there because of what they can do in the grant scheme of things. And it isn’t a shock that Norman would want someone else there he thinks he could control.

The point of the story is that he was somewhat out of place there. How that impacts the future story will be interesting to see.

That’s it for last month’s books – time to look forward to next month!

The List So Far
Jonah Hex #51, $2.99, DC Comics. Due Out 01/06/10
Invincible Iron Man #22, $2.99, Marvel Comics. Due Out 01/13/10
Spider-Man & The Secret Wars #2, $2.99, Marvel Comics Due Out 01/13/10
Green Lantern Corps #44, $2.99, DC Comics. Due Out 01/20/10
Power Girl #8, $2.99, DC Comics. Due out 01/20/10
Deadpool: Merc With a Mouth #7, $3.99, Marvel Comics. Due Out 01/20/10
Wolverine: Weapon X #9, $3.99, Marvel Comics. Due Out 01/20/10
Nova #33, $2.99, Marvel Comics. Due Out 01/20/10
Ghost Riders: Heavens on Fire #6 (of 6), $3.99, Marvel Comics. Due out 01/27/10
Avengers: The Initiative #32, $2.99, Marvel Comics. Due Out 01/27/10
Batman and Robin #7, $2.99, DC Comics Due Out 01/27/10

We have a few differences this month – Deadpool’s cover price jumped up a dollar, Jonah Hex’s has gone back down, Nomad has come to an end, and Batman and Robin returns from its brief hiatus this month. As it stands now, we should have just enough for one more issue, if we don’t cut anything. Is there anything you are just plain sick of? Do we give Batman and Robin another chance?

Well, there’s not a whole lot that I’d want to cut from the list. The Deadpool book hasn’t really been grabbing me, but the novelty of seeing the different reality versions of Deadpool intrigues me. Batman and Robin, I’ve been enjoying, but it did just wrap up an arc, and in February, it’s going to ship twice… which might cause problems for it. Other than that, I really don’t feel all that strongly about booting anything.
In truth, that makes me want to drop Batman and Robin. If they were planning on shipping twice in February, why bother taking the month off? And as it stands now, we have enough room for a single $2.99 book, but with so many titles weighing in at $3.99 these days, I am inclined to drop it in order to make room.

Right then. Dropped!

I can’t say I will miss it! Onward!

New Titles

That leaves us with $6.74 (before tax) to pick up a new book. I have to say that I really enjoyed Nomad, so much so that I am perfectly willing to pick up Captain America, just to get the back-up stories. Your thoughts?

I wish to impregnate Sean McKeever with my love.

Aaaannnd I’ll take that as a yes.

ADDED
Captain America #602, $3.99, Marvel Comics Due Out 01/20/10

That leaves us with a mere $2.99, or $2.77 before the dread tax and board fee. Unless you can think of something cheaper than that…
There’s Joe the Barbarian coming out from Vertigo. It’s supposed to be one of those fantasies, like Narnia – only written by Grant Morrison. First issue is a buck.

Sounds like a steal to me. We have the room – and who knows, the title may rock. The Grant Morrison thing doesn’t exactly sell it – but who knows… a diamond in the rough? Hopefully it is more WE3 than Seaguy.

ADDED
Joe the Barbarian #1 (of 8), $1.00, DC Comics Due Out 01/20/10

JANUARY LIST
Jonah Hex #51, $2.99, DC Comics. Due Out 01/06/10
Invincible Iron Man #22, $2.99, Marvel Comics. Due Out 01/13/10
Spider-Man & The Secret Wars #2, $2.99, Marvel Comics Due Out 01/13/10
Green Lantern Corps #44, $2.99, DC Comics. Due Out 01/20/10
Power Girl #8, $2.99, DC Comics. Due out 01/20/10
Deadpool: Merc With a Mouth #7, $3.99, Marvel Comics. Due Out 01/20/10
Wolverine: Weapon X #9, $3.99, Marvel Comics. Due Out 01/20/10
Nova #33, $2.99, Marvel Comics. Due Out 01/20/10
Captain America #602, $3.99, Marvel Comics Due Out 01/20/10
Joe the Barbarian #1 (of 8), $1.00, DC Comics Due Out 01/20/10
Ghost Riders: Heavens on Fire #6 (of 6), $3.99, Marvel Comics. Due out 01/27/10
Avengers: The Initiative #32, $2.99, Marvel Comics. Due Out 01/27/10

The Math
$2.74 (Bank from December) + $40 (January Budget) = $42.74 $42.74 – $37.89 (January issues) – $2.94 (tax) = $1.91 Banked for February

And with that, we come to the end of our little journey this month! Thanks again to all of you who have stuck with the List since the very beginning. It’s been a blast so far, and hopefully we will see you all again in January 2011.

The OC 4 life, honkies!

THE ARCHIVES
2007 – 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7 – 8 – 9 – 10 – 11 – 12
2008 – 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7 – 8 – 9 – 10 – 11 – 12
2009 – 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 4.1 – 5 – 6 – 7 – 8 – 9 – 10 – 11 – 12

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