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May 16, 2008

The Gamer’s Quagmire #69: Heeding the Wisdom of E.E. Cummings

Filed under: The Gamer's Quagmire — Tags: , , , — crayfish @ 9:00 am

Everything you wanted to know about gaming, and less

by Jamison DeLorenzo

Finding required viewing in the world of video game writing is a rare event. Over the past five years the cornerstone of my gaming bookmarks has been Penny Arcade. I realize that this is a lot like saying people swear by ESPN for sports news, so that statement has far less impact that I would want. I have often found that my style of humor is right in line with their strips, and that is what drew me to make them required reading.

With the many web comics and regular columns devoted to gaming you are probably wondering why I haven’t mentioned any others. There are many interesting and unique reads that people absolutely love. XKCD and Ctrl-Alt-Delete immediately come to mind as solid reads, but for whatever reason they don’t have the pull on me that they probably should.

The only sites I ever bookmark are sites that I see that offer something unique and either informative or entertaining. Based on that criteria there should probably me more sites inside my gaming radar. Still, this article is not about me and my overwhelmingly bad reading practices. This is about something that’s been bothering me about my #2 reading destination.

It wasn’t all that long ago that this second destination was added. Within the past 3 months Zero Punctuation (think about the pun embedded in this week’s title - it’s subtle… and, now that I think about it, not all that funny) has become a Wednesday mainstay. Yahtzee has become the latest gaming culture phenomenon and with good cause. Again, that statement doesn’t have a whole lot of impact. That’s okay - that wasn’t the intent.

If you’ve been reading the Quagmire for with any regularity you have seen my relative apprehension of Nintendo’s success. I never thought about it when I was young, but now that I’ve managed to entire my cranky old man stage early in my gaming critic life (which appears to have happened prematurely) I have a hard time not thinking about the number of times Nintendo added another title to an existing franchise. This is my current favorite double-standard to harp on with respect to gaming, and when this was brought up in ZP the first time I couldn’t have been more delighted.

Please understand that schadenfreude is not a common problem for me. I don’t take delight in flame wars, but sometimes I feel like I need to step up and say something. Super Smash Brothers is going to be the target, so if you have trouble handling any comments that do not involve slobbering all over the franchise you should be prepared for some artillery fire.

Brawl is the first game in the franchise I have owned but not the first one I have played. This game has never had that much appeal to me, but playing this game with three friends has been a good amount of fun. After extended service time with the game I had many negative things to say about it. My biggest problem with this game, and most 1st party titles for the Wii, is that the games are not deep. Okay, the perceived depth of a game is highly subjective, but as a fighter the gameplay in Brawl does not feel any different than its predecessors. I certainly don’t buy the argument that it is a masher, but I don’t see it as the complex fighter so many fans try to make it out to be (if you want a complex fighter I strongly urge you to play a Tekken game).

Not long after I start jotting down all the complaints I have about SSBB, ZP came out and said everything that was in my notes. This made me happy, not because laziness was once again paying off, but because someone that I would consider paying attention to about games can’t stand mediocre gameplay, highlighted characters being complex unlockables, and off-chance random character movement. This still was not my favorite part of the review.

Two weeks later the SSBB review prompted a response to e-mail feedback which took great strides towards proving that people who hated the comments had no idea how to properly respond to the comments made. This response also highlighted, inadvertently perhaps, that the phrase “I am not a fanboi” is a tired cliché that now almost always serves as proof that the writer is, on top of everything else, a hypocrite.

I realize it took a heck of a long time to get there, but it is time for another Public Service Announcement from the Quagmire - please stop using that phrase to begin your arguments. Every single time this phrase is used to make a point, it proves the author is too scared to let their argument stand on its own merit. It is not as if I expect to see witty discussion every time I read through a message board or walk into EB. In fact, more often than not I expect a bunch of idiots making incoherent statements. Certain phrases become overused way too often, and “I am not a fanboi” is now on the list along with “Nintendo just makes fun games”, “I prefer gameplay over graphics”, or “I’m tired of boring old sequels.”

Please understand that fans of any console who feel the need to attempt to validate themselves by shooting down other consoles are all guilty of use of at least one of these comments. Somehow there is this great divide in the community with respect to each console, and I feel like people are searching for catch phrases to make their points. I won’t shoot down anyone for enjoying a Smash Brothers, Mario Kart, Halo, or any other gaming franchise just because I don’t happen to enjoy it. I will, however, rip you apart if you are unable to handle people pointing out flaws they see without babbling on incoherently. In other words, I’m only here to help.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go prepare for another SSBB party.

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May 15, 2008

Ti’Hat and the Vulcan: Chapter Seventeen

Filed under: News & Miscellaneous — Craig Reade @ 4:28 pm

voyager.jpgJaneway nervously made her way down to sickbay. The Doctor had called her there to explain an idea he had come up with for dealing with the Borg on the surface, and had insisted that she come now. It was against her better judgment, considering the fact that there were still several Borg cubes locked in battle with the Khamish fleet, and her own ship. More than once she was tossed into a wall as Voyager took a hit, and every time she almost turned right around and headed back to the bridge.

“Chakotay can handle this,” she told herself time and time again.

She passed by a security team, phaser rifles shouldered, that was in search of any Borg that the ship’s internal sensors missed. Janeway was not worried about any more intruders, however. It had been a good half an hour since the last of the Borg invaders was killed, the only one left alive was in a quarantine field in sickbay, under sedation. That Borg had managed to emit a field that was disrupting transport, and Janeway guessed that it was to have several of its implants removed so that it could be dealt with later. In his summons, the Doctor could not help adding a complaint about the four security men that were stationed inside of sickbay, in case something were to go wrong.

Janeway was momentarily startled by the three Doctors that were inside of the security field. She had totally forgotten for a time about the problem with the Doctor’s program, something that would be considered quite major under ordinary circumstances.

She scanned the room for the Doctor with the holoemitter, and found him working with one of the duplicated examining something at one of the micro-surgery tables.

“I don’t see how you hope to accomplish that,” the duplicate criticized. “They must have some sort of viral scanner that would reject any such invasive program.”

“Haven’t you been paying attention to a word I’ve been saying?” the Doctor replied. “We have enough information from Tuvok’s download and what we have gathered from our ‘guest,’ as well as input from Seven of Nine to mask the invasive program so that it will see it as a simple function command from the Collective.” The ship shuddered, but neither of the Doctors took any notice.

“Excuse me Doctor,” Janeway interrupted, her voice betraying extreme annoyance. “What is so important that I had to come down here? As you can plainly tell, Voyager is potentially moments away from being torn to shreds.”

“Captain, I believe I have a way to eliminate the Borg that are now inhabiting the surface of the planet,” the Doctor explained.

“Doctor, we have a strike team on the surface now,” Janeway impatiently replied. “With any luck, the Borg there will not be a problem.”

“Quite honestly, I can’t see how a small strike team could do anything to effectively eliminate the Borg on the surface,” the Doctor replied, almost too confidently. “On Bint’Ari, the Borg barely had enough time to establish a primary planet-bound Collective transceiver. I have analyzed the data from Tuvok’s download, and it indicates that there are three thousand, one hundred twelve such units on the surface of this fully assimilated planet, where only one or two is required. The extra redundancy is a defense mechanism, in case an enemy attempts what the strike team is now.”

“Seven mentioned that there could be thousands, but I did not actually believe the number would be so high,” Janeway commented. “Why is it that the engineering teams working on this data did not come across an exact number sooner?”

“I have incorporated the entire download into an analytic recall subroutine. To put it in terms you might understand, I can remember every bit of the data from that download. I am certain that the engineering team has not even run across this bit of information yet. It is buried rather deeply in a minor subroutine, not intended for frequent access.”

Janeway sighed. “Alright, what is your idea?”

“It’s not going to work,” the duplicate whined. “I think this situation has caused you to develop quite an infallibility complex. Just because you have that damned holoemiter, you think you can’t be wrong!”

“You have developed a negative tinge to your personality that is extremely annoying,” the Doctor replied. “You have access to the same data that I do, I can’t see how you don’t agree with a word I say.”

“Doctors,” Janeway interrupted. “Now is not the time for this. Your idea, please?”

“Well,” the Doctor began, “I have analyzed the data from the treatment I used to revive Ensign Kim after his run in with Species 8472. I believe the nanoprobes could be modified in a similar manner to introduce an invasive virus into the planetary collective, similar to the paradox virus Lt. Commander Data developed on Stardate 45855. I believe that the modified nanoprobes can be used to infect a branch of the collective with this invasive program that will corrupt most of its major command routines. When the branch tries to up-link with the rest of the collective, the virus will be discovered, and the collective will deem the entire branch defective, thereby disconnecting itself from it to prevent further spread of the virus. Once disconnected, the branch should initiate a self-destruct sequence.”

“What if they don’t?” Janeway asked.

“They will be useless shells anyway,” the Doctor replied. “Without any commands from the collective, the individual Borg soldiers will do nothing, not even defend themselves. It would then be a simple matter of getting rid of the comatose Borg, something that our presence would not be required for the Khamish to complete.”

“Sounds like an interesting plan,” Janeway decided. “But how do you expect to get these nanoprobes onto the planet, and into a position where they can implant this virus?”

“My first thought was that the nanoprobes could be restored to their original programming, and used to assimilate someone. That person would then be transported to the surface, where they would interface with the Borg, and spread the virus.”

“Entirely unacceptable,” Janeway replied sternly. “I will not condemn anyone to assimilation.”

“I thought that would be your reaction,” The Doctor replied. “My second thought was to use the nanoprobes on our ‘guest,’ and have him beamed down to the surface.”

“But he is already Borg, how would the nanoprobes be of any use there?”

“By removing as many of the internal components as we can from the Borg’s skull, we can trick the nanoprobes into believing that it is, in fact, not a Borg. They will begin the assimilation process as they normally would, only adding our virus to the Borg’s basic program.”

“That would take hours, Doctor,” Janeway said. “I do not see how any of it can be accomplished in time.”

“We began the removal of the circuit pathways over an hour ago, in our attempts to retrieve more data about our ‘guest.’ The other duplicates are working on it as we speak. They will have completed the procedure in less than an hour.”

Janeway stood in a stunned silence for a couple of moments. Could it actually work?

“Are you certain that it will work?” She finally asked.

“Unless the Borg have drastically changed their primary command pathways in the last twenty-four hours, I can’t see how it would fail,” The Doctor replied. His duplicate remained mercifully silent.

“Let me know when you are ready to implant the nanoprobes,” Janeway ordered, as she snapped towards the exit. She found it ironic that The Doctor was the one who came up with a weapon of mass destruction to be used against Species 8472, and again one to be used against the Borg. She always had the notion that doctors were supposed to keep people alive, not find ways to kill them.

With an upward sweep of his Aria, Oro took of the arm of yet another Borg that had come to confront him. Would it never end? They had already destroyed four sites that had the makings of a central transceiver system, the destruction of each had only bought the small band a couple of moments of rest while the Borg regrouped.

Oro dodged a blow from the Borg’s mechanical arm, and lopped off his attacker’s head with a graceful arc of his blade. The head soared through the air, and momentarily eclipsed the distant swarm of Khamish fighters that were attacking the surface. Oro returned his gaze to the area around him, so that a Borg soldier would not take him by surprise. For the moment, there were none to be seen.

Oro could not understand why they were continuing with this foolish errand. It was plain to him that the only way that they would defeat the overwhelming hordes of Borg on this world would be through a full scale invasion, something that this fleet was not equipped for. The Borg were too smart to be defeated by a single all-or-nothing attack.

The truth of it was all around him. Everything on this world exuded a sameness that was disturbing. Nothing had any sort of purely decorative value. Every single building was the same, excepting the size, no doubt each building was precisely the right size for the function that it was intended to perform. Each building had an open doorway at ground level. Clearly there was no need for closed doors, something that only privacy demanded. In a society where every member knew the thoughts of each other, privacy was irrelevant. There were no windows, anywhere. Windows only served to view the surrounding area, and that also served no useful purpose for a society that cared nothing for appearances.

Even the roads had a frightening sameness about them. Where a building ended, a road began. No sidewalks, no grass patches, trees, or flower beds. Each of the roads was identical in width, and they were all remarkable well maintained and free from any sort of litter or debris. There was an elevated platform above the precise center of each of the roads, where a sort of train would pass over on occasion. Oro could not see the contents of the vehicle, for they, also, had no windows.

Grey was the only word that Oro could think of to describe this place. No other word fit. The voice of his beloved Jaskin in his mind did what it could to ease his discomfort, but she was as disturbed be the scene as he was. This planet could have been Bint’Ari, if things had gone differently, and that frightened Oro more than anything.

Oro noticed out of the corner of his eye a Borg soldier steadily making its way towards him. Oro raised his sword to strike. The Borg showed no emotion, no fear or anger, only a blank determination. The Borg always had that look. You could kill them or they could kill you, and there look would never change. Oro found himself smiling, because he could smile, and his enemy could not. He roared in anger and charged towards the Borg, and quickly slew him. Then he roared in victory. The Borg wanted to take this away from his people. This thrill of survival. The emotion of being alive. A nearby explosion only served to amplify his voice. Oro thought that they might not take this world today, but he knew then that the Borg would never take from him what made him alive. And he rejoiced in that feeling.

Oro lowered his gaze towards the explosion, and saw B’Elanna and a Khamish soldier running towards him. When they arrived, he did not ask what had happened to Usu, the young Bint’Ari that was the fourth in this landing party. There was no doubt that he had not survived.

“Torres to Heston, three to beam up.”

Torres did not waste any time once the party was beamed up. She rushed to the front of the shuttle to find out if their last attack had any effect. The result was obvious by her reaction.

“What is it going to take?” she roared, slamming her fist onto the console. “We have used all of our torpedoes, and we only have enough explosives left for one more attack.”

“I believe that one more attack will make no more difference. Our mission is a failure. We must return to Voyager and investigate other options,” Tuvok suggested.

“Here, here,” Oro added from the back of the shuttle. B’Elanna shot him a vicious glare.

“So you two are suggesting that we give up now? What else could we possibly do? If we just tuck our tails and run whimpering back to Voyager, the Borg will recover. And if that happens, I doubt that we will have a home left to go back to.”

“Lieutenant, logic suggests that we have no chance of success in our present course of action. The Hesoid has already been destroyed, as well as one of the Khamish transports. The odds of us achieving victory over the Borg on this planet without returning to Voyager are approximately four point six trillion to one. Simply put, if we remain here, we will not survive.”

“If there is a Voyager left,” Torres moaned as she flopped into a chair. “You saw what it was like up there before we came down. There is a good chance that the Borg already destroyed Voyager.”

Tuvok chose not to respond to that comment, but took it as a sign of resignation. Oro, who had fallen asleep in his chair, no doubt exhausted after the last several strikes, made no remark. Tuvok signaled the other ships in the group, and they made their way back up into orbit of the planet.

Paris was off in a place that few pilots ever went. He had been at the helm for hours now, constantly moving, trying to stay away from the Borg tractor beam, as well as dodging the thousands of fighters that were swarming through the entire area. He could remember at least three times an ensign asking if he needed to be relieved, hoping that they didn’t break his concentration. Paris did not even answer. He couldn’t spare the energy to give an obvious answer. There was no way that he was going to turn over the helm to anyone else right now.

Paris was having the time of his life. Voyager had been designed for the demands of travel through the badlands, a ship for hunting Maquis. But out in the Delta Quadrant, Paris never got to indulge in the ships full capabilities. They were always flying straight. But now Paris was pushing Voyager to its limits, and enjoying every minute of it. The fact that a single mistake could lead to the destruction of Voyager only made things more exhilarating.

Paris adjusted the navigational deflectors to their full strength, and barreled the ship through the debris of what was a Borg Destroyer, towards one of the final two Attack cubes. Chakotay had not wasted a second after they had destroyed the smaller Borg ship that had attacked them in ordering Paris towards the bigger threat. They all knew that no matter how a battle was going that if you gave a Borg ship any time to recover that it would repair itself, and become much harder to fight the second time around.

“Come to a stop within weapons range of the cube, Mr. Paris,” Chakotay ordered. He had long given up expecting a response from the helm officer, He recognized that Paris wouldn’t say anything long ago, and it was pointless trying to force one out of him. The orders he gave were being followed, and that was all that was important.

Janeway chose that moment to come onto the bridge. She looked as tired as the rest of the crew did, but she still had that familiar air of command about her. Chakotay relinquished the command chair to her, which she immediately filled.

“Status,” she requested.

“Two Attack cubes and two Scout vessels remaining, Captain,” Kim replied wearily. “No incoming ships on long range scanners.”

“Excellent,” Janeway replied. Noticing the Cube that was rapidly filling up the front view-screen, she though to ask,” How long until we come into weapon’s range?”

“One minute, thirty seconds,” Paris replied from the front, shocking half of the people on the bridge. That was the first thing Paris had said in well over an hour.”

“Captain, we are receiving a message from Tuvok,” Kim reported. “They have just came out of the planet’s sensor-distortion field. They are requesting a rendezvous.”

“Mr. Paris, take us back to the planet, and quickly. We don’t need the Borg to see that they are there unprotected.”

“One of the cubes is breaking away from the battle and heading this way, Captain. They are heading straight for us,” Kim said.

“Damn,” Janeway mumbled. “How long until they come into weapon’s range?”

“Thirty seconds,” Kim replied.

Janeway sighed. “What about the Khamish fighters?”

“There are none in range.”

“Mr. Paris, see if you can go any faster,” Janeway ordered.

“Sickbay to the bridge,” The Doctors voice called over the intercom. “Captain, We are ready to implant the nanoprobes into the Borg soldier.”

“Nanoprobes?” Chakotay asked, with a confused look on his face.

Janeway shook her head. Was nothing simple anymore?

“Standby, Doctor,” she replied. “Mr. Kim, open a channel to the Heston. Inform Tuvok that we are going to be transporting a Borg soldier over to them, and that they are to get him to the surface as quickly as possible. Then they are to return to orbit.”

Kim’s mouth dropped, but he manages to reply with an “Aye Captain,” before she could reprimand him.

“Captain to sickbay, Doctor, implant the nanoprobes and prepare to have the Borg transported out of sickbay in thirty seconds,” Janeway ordered.

“But Captain,” The Doctor complained, “How-”

“That will be all, Doctor,” Janeway interrupted, closing the channel.

“Captain, the shuttles are entering transporter range,” Kim reported.

“Transport the Borg soldier onto the Heston. As soon as it has gotten underway, extend our shields around the other shuttle and the Bint’Ari ships.”

The entire crew was surprised at how quickly things happened from that point. A couple of seconds after Janeway gave the order, the Heston turned around and headed back towards the planet. Barely a second in time, Voyager’s shields went back up around both Voyager and the rest of the landing party. As soon as that happened, the cube came into range and pummeled the shields with a spread of torpedoes. The three ships within Voyager’s shields hurried towards the shuttlebay doors, as Voyager turned to face the Borg menace.

Star Trek, Voyager, and related properties are © Paramount Studio, and the author makes no claim towards them.

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May 13, 2008

On The Shelf This Week - 05.14.08

Filed under: On The Shelf — Craig Reade @ 10:22 pm

HIGHLIGHTS OF THE WEEK
Order any of the below titles by clicking here!

ALL NEW IRON MANUAL, $4.99, 64 Pages, Marvel Comics
By Various

It is still Iron Man Movie Season, so here we have another one shot release to go along with that. Manual fans should be happy, as well as anyone who is checking out Iron Man for the first time. The manual will include the usual bios of everyone in the Iron Man Universe, in addition to technical schematics for a bunch of various Iron Man armors and the SHIELD Helicarrier (which will be cool for those who get into the tech-side of things). So as Manuals go, this one shouldn’t be too bad.

BATMAN #676, 32 Pages, DC Comics
Written by Grant Morrison; Art and variant cover by Tony Daniel and Sandu Florea; Cover by Alex Ross

This issue is the start of the highly anticipated “Batman R.I.P.” story. So, are they actually going to kill Bruce Wayne? The smart money says no - for a number of reasons. Marketing is clearly the biggest reason - would they actually kill off Bruce Wayne right when a Batman movie is on tap? Even after it hits theaters, the DVD marketing has to be considered. On the other hand, with all the attention Marvel made for itself with the death of Captain America, perhaps the folks at Warner think that the attention Batman’s death could receive would equate to sales. So you never really know.

Plus, Grant Morrison might just do it. Many consider his run on New X-Men to be groundbreaking, and it wasn’t because he kept the status quo (the first volume of that run is being collected by Marvel in a hardcover this week - you can bet the timing isn’t accidental). He might just be striving to redefine Batman for the future here.

And if it doesn’t work out? Final Crisis is here - it can all be wiped right away.

GENEXT #1 (OF 5), $3.99, 32 Pages, Marvel Comics
Written by Chris Claremont, Art by Patrick Scherberger, Norman Lee, and Chris Sotomayor

This one is based off of a Marvel.com poll in which readers were asked which project they would like to see Chris Claremont work on next. I think the voters made a good choice. Claremont can be hit and miss these days, and he seems to get the best response on titles where he is not spinning his own take on preexisting characters with a solid fanbase (these days). His vision of a future Marvel Universe could have a lot of potential, especially if he writes it with his own acclaimed runs in mind. Minis like these tend to pop back up again as an ongoing concept if successful - so this might not be the first Genext #1 we see, if all goes well. Definitely worth a look.

GIANT SIZE INCREDIBLE HULK #1, $3.99, 48 Pages, Marvel Comics
Written by Roger Stern, Art by John Byrn and Bob Layton

This one has been on the radar for a while - so it deserves one last mention, now that it is finally coming out. For those who haven’t heard, Stern and Byrne are returning to the Hulk for this Annual, exploring a chapter from the Hulk’s past through the eyes of Fred Sloan. This issue promises to be a good, old-fashioned Hulk story, especially good news for people who aren’t totally thrilled with the Hulk’s current direction. Of course, it wouldn’t be a Giant Size without a reprint story these days - this issue will reprint some of The Incredible Hulk Annual #7 from the same team. This one is on my list for the week.

HUNTRESS YEAR ONE #1 (OF 6), $2.99, 32 Pages, DC Comics
Written by Ivory Madison; Art by Cliff Richards and Art Thibert; Cover by Matthew Clark

Ivory Madison is a total unknown in comics - she really doesn’t have anything of note to refer to, beyond her work with the Redroom.com writer’s social networking site - but I am not sure that would be enough to qualify her. On the other hand, I am not sure DC would either - so the pitch for this series must have been good enough to risk giving her a 6 issue series to tell the story. Untested - but worth giving a chance to. Of course, if you are a Huntress fan, or a Birds of Prey reader, you will already pick this up regardless.

WONDER WOMAN #20, $2.99, 32 Pages, DC Comics
Written by Gail Simone; Art by Aaron Lopresti and Matt Ryan; Cover by Lopresti

A brand new art team for Wonder Woman - should be a good one. Aaron Lopresti has a style that should fit well with Simone’s Wonder Woman. Of course, last issue ended a two part story, so once again we are at a “beginning” where new readers might be able to jump aboard. And you really should. Wonder Woman is the best it has been since well before the restart - and it doesn’t look like it is slowing down anytime soon. Hard to say how many more chances for new readers to come aboard there will be during Simone’s run.

SPOTLIGHT PICK OF THE WEEK

GUARDIANS OF GALAXY #1, $2.99, 32 Pages, Marvel Comics
Written by Dan Abnett and Andy Lanning, Art by Paul Pelletier and Rick Maygar

Shouldn’t have to say too much about this - Abnett and Lanning have been on fire in the newly revitalized Cosmic Marvel Universe - and this series promises to be more of the same. The creative team is spot on, so you can expect the quality will be great, and though the final make-up of the team seems to be pending (at least, until the release of this issue), it seems clear that many fan favorites will have a part in this title.

You can’t say enough about the work Abnett and Lanning have done with Marvel over the past couple years, and this title looks to continue that tradition. This issue is the most sure bet of the week - it will be good.

DARK HORSE

BPRD 1946 #5 (OF 5) $2.99 Now: $2.59
STAR WARS KNIGHTS OF OLD REPUBLIC #28 VECTOR PART 4 $2.99 Now: $2.59

DC COMICS

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BATMAN VERSUS THE JOKER STATUE $195.00 Now: $169.99
FINAL CRISIS SKETCHBOOK $2.99 Now: $2.89
GEN 13 #20 $2.99 Now: $2.69
HUNTRESS YEAR ONE #1 (OF 6) $2.99 Now: $2.69
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DYNAMITE ENTERTAINMENT

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IDW

FX #3 (OF 6) $3.99 Now: $3.49

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ALL NEW IRON MANUAL $4.99 Now: $4.39
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ANITA BLAKE VH GUILTY PLEASURES #11 (OF 12) $2.99 Now: $2.69
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CLANDESTINE #4 (OF 5) $2.99 Now: $2.69
ESSENTIAL OFF HB MARVEL UNIV MASTER ED TP VOL 02 $14.99 Now: $2.69
GENEXT #1 (OF 5) $3.99 Now: $3.49
GIANT SIZE INCREDIBLE HULK #1 $3.99 Now: $3.49
GUARDIANS OF GALAXY #1 $2.99 Now: $2.69
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X-MEN LEGACY #211 $2.99 Now: $2.69
X-MEN ORIGIN COLOSSUS $3.99 Now: $3.49

FREE COMIC BOOK MONTH

Free Comic Book Day might be over and done with at your local shop, but X-World has free comics all month long. When perusing this week’s catalog, be sure to head over to the Free Comics Section to see what issues are available. New stuff added every Monday!

STRACZYNSKI ON THE BRAVE AND THE BOLD

There have been rumblings for some time that J. Michael Straczynski would be working on a DC project sometime soon - those rumors were laid to rest when his upcoming run on DC’s The Brave and the Bold was announced. This really is good news - that title never really got off to the start it could have, and a fresh pen on the book should do it a world of good. Already it has been announced that his first team-up will be Batman and the current Jim Corrigan Spectre - a seriously interesting combination to say the least. The official start hasn’t been announced - only that it will follow a Marv Wolfman guest arc. This is definitely one to watch out for.

NOTE: Opinions here may not reflect those of X-World Comics LLC or its staff and are solely the opinions of the writer.

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May 9, 2008

The Gamer’s Quagmire #68: Lucky Number 4

Filed under: The Gamer's Quagmire — Tags: , , , , — crayfish @ 9:00 am

Everything you wanted to know about gaming, and less

by Jamison DeLorenzo

Promises are promises, and, this amazing revelation aside, I figure if there is a week to talk about GTA this would be the week to do it. There are very few stories in gaming news this week that do not involve this game, and rightfully so. Considering the sales numbers this game is putting up (6 million copies sold in week one) it would be rather silly to ignore this landmark game.

That was far more than just a play on words relating to the number of NYC landmarks in the GTA IV version of Liberty City. This is one of the few games I have ever seen released where every major gaming publication and review site is giving this game near perfect marks. I am not saying this should drive you to your nearest store and pick the game up, but so few games are ever given a high score, let alone from everyone. After taking a week off from work to plow through this game, something which I had planned since the beginning of the year, I find it very difficult to disagree with the notion that this game isn’t as close to perfect as a game can get.

There are many things this game does that its predecessors have done. All the basic gameplay elements that you love (or hate) about the game are back, the satire is still present, the detail in the city environment is amazing, the story is engrossing, and the characters and dialogue are movie-level quality. These are all things I expect from GTA. Games that step up to this level are almost always highly praised, including last year’s icon in this department - BioShock.

Where GTA has stopped before, IV has kept going. Let us start with what is in the forefront – the graphics. The work Rockstar has put into Liberty City has definitely raised the bar in the realm of the free-roaming environment. Combine the graphical power of Crysis with the city detail that went into Assassin’s Creed and what you get is Liberty City. Downtown is littered with gigantic signs that make you feel like you’re on the strip in Vegas. Seeing the city skyline light up at night is just like looking out of a hotel window. Those are the big visuals. The details - like movie posters and other ads inside buildings, the geysers of water that shoot up when you knock out fire hydrants, the debris that gets caught in a cyclone when a helicopter is flying nearby, being able to hear your car radio while outside the car - all of these experiences make you feel like you are inside a real city.

Next to the basic gameplay elements that make GTA what it is, the satire embedded in this game is easily the most enjoyable aspect of this. This is not anything new, but being able to see this in the form of television and the web are brand new experiences. One day I spent hours just watching TV in one of my safehouses. Is there any point in doing this? You don’t get missions or any real information on backstory in the game, but it sure is entertaining.

The only complaint I have is that the character movement is still a ways away from smooth. Running around, moving through crowds of people, breaking into cars or just hopping in them all have very natural movements. Jumping, however, is still atrocious. Trying to get Niko to jump between ledges, onto or off of a boat, or in between rooftops is still an ordeal. Jumping in wide open spaces is not nearly as frustrating as cramped spaces (I got stuck once under a staircase which forced me to reload because crouching and walking wasn’t working right), but jumping in a straight line can be a major ordeal at times. One mission I failed because I tried getting onto a dirtbike from behind it, only to walk in circles for over 10 seconds before my target escaped.

If those problems were not present in the game I would easily be able to state with conviction that this game is perfect. When I say a game is perfect, that means that while the game can still be improved to do things in different ways, there is nothing that I feel the game is lacking. For example, the cover combat system could be a little easier to use for getting in and out of cover or sprinting between cover spots, but it didn’t really cause any problems. The combat system was still much better than anything that has been in GTA games to date, so I cannot state with a straight face that the combat was difficult or frustrating.

There is one thing I should make a special note on. There is a mission that involves a bank job in this game. I thought this was going to be as annoying as the Vice City mission was, but it turned out to be the best mission in any GTA game I have played to date. The tedious parts of the robbery - securing the bank, subduing employees and customers, busting open the vault, were all scripted. The entire mission revolved around the escape from the bank. The adrenaline rush in running through the streets taking out cop after cop, running through the subway, avoiding helicopters, and the final escape back to the house provided more adrenaline and energy than I could ask for. I would need 3 Red Bulls back-to-back to recreate that sensation. This mission was the defining moment for the game.

Coming up with something different to say about this game is tough. You know it all and you’ve probably seen it all. The highlights of this game were the graphics, fighting system, environment detail, voice acting, character animations, story, dialogue, satire, and length. The driving, movement, and missions were good but could all have been improved. The multiplayer was new and fun, but still could be so much more. Every one of the highlights were near perfect if not perfect, which means that GTA IV probably didn’t exceed many people’s expectations, but it matched what most people were expecting from Rockstar. If that doesn’t say something about what the value of the GTA franchise is, then nothing really does.

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May 8, 2008

Ti’Hat and the Vulcan: Chapter Sixteen

Filed under: Fiction — Craig Reade @ 12:27 am

voyager.jpg“The Delta Mother has been completely destroyed,” Kim said, shaking his head.

“What about the fighters?” Chakotay asked.

“About twelve hundred of the fighters from the Delta Mother were destroyed. Two hundred are nearing the planet, along with three Bint’Ari ships. The rest of them are still engaging the Borg,” Kim replied.

“What about the cubes?” Janeway asked.

“The Attack and Scout cubes are heading for us. The Destroyer is maintaining position, trying to hit the fighters.”

“How long until the cubes reach us?”

“Thirty seconds.”

Janeway scratched her head. They had thirty seconds to drop their shields, launch the landing party, and re-raise their shields. And every second she thought about it gave them less time.

“Mr. Kim, signal the shuttlebay that they have their clearance to leave,” Janeway said. “And tell Tuvok that they have fifteen seconds to get out of here.”

“Aye Captain,” Kim replied. “Shields are down, the shuttles are under way.”

“Borg cube coming into range, Captain,” Paris said.

“Mr. Young, fire phasers,” Janeway ordered.

“No effect, Captain,” Young reported. “The Borg are coming to a stop in front of us.”

Suddenly, two Borg soldiers materialized on the bridge, one next to the weapons console, and the next in the center. The two security officers on the bridge drew their weapons and moved towards the soldiers.

“Intruder alert! Mr. Kim, get me those shields, now!” Janeway barked, and she leapt to her feet. Ensign Young rose and grabbed the heavy mechanical arm of the Borg that stood near him before it cracked open his skull. The Borg reached around with its free arm and backhanded Young, sending him crashing into his own console.

The other Borg made its way towards Janeway. The Doctor, after a moment’s hesitation, got to his feet and stepped in front of the soldier. The Borg moved foreword, reached up, and stabbed the Doctor in the neck with the two talons from its fingers. Both The Doctor and the Borg looked to the ground, where several tiny metallic flecks had fallen between The Doctors feet. His program, detecting an unwanted foreign substance within the holographic matrix, had simply took away the Doctors solidity long enough for the metal bits to fall to the ground.

The Doctor bent down, and looked closely at the flakes.

“Nanoprobes,” he commented. “An effective means of assimilation for humanoids. Of course, ineffective on a hologram.”

The Borg, though confused, decided that assimilation was not going to work on the Doctor. The only alternative was death. It raised its mechanical arm and brought it down on the Doctor’s head. Instead of the intended result, the arm passed straight through the Doctor and the Borg fell foreword. The Doctor moved aside, allowing the Borg to fall to the ground. Before the Borg could rise to its feet, the Doctor reached over and plucked the necessary component off of the Borg’s chest, causing it to instantly disintegrate.

The second Borg’s attack on Ensign Young was stopped short by Seven of Nine, who leveled the drone with a vicious backhand. Young fell to the ground, and the drone turned to engage Seven of Nine. She was too quick for it, though. She lashed out, grabbing the drone’s head and snapping its neck. The drone dropped to the floor with a loud thud.

“How many more of those got on the ship before the shields went up?” Janeway demanded.

“Five,” Kim replied, returning to his console. “Two others have been eliminated. There are still some on decks three and four.”

“Transport them into space,” Janeway ordered.

“Doctor,” Chakotay began. “Ensign Young is severely injured. He has lost a lot of blood, and is unconscious.”

The Doctor moved to examine Ensign Young, ordered transport to sickbay, and the two disappeared a moment later.

“You have tactical, Chakotay,” Janeway ordered, returning to her seat. “Status of the Borg ships?”

“They haven’t attacked us yet,” Kim replied. “The remaining fighters from the Delta Mother arrived before they could. The Borg Destroyer and the Scout have both been destroyed. The Attack cube has no appreciable damage, but I estimate that there are at least three thousand antimatter pods attached to it.”

“Signal the ranking fighter, and tell them to fall back,” Janeway ordered. “Target as many of those pods as you can and fire phasers, Chakotay.”

“Aye Captain,” Chakotay replied.

Seconds later, Voyager’s weapons came alive, phasers hitting different parts of the cube. Small explosions which could be seen all over the surface ruptured many of the pods. After a moment’s wait, the antimatter leaked out of the containers, causing several explosions that spread all around the cube. Finally the entire ship went in a giant explosion, and several chunks of the Borg cube fell towards the atmosphere of the planet.

Not used to flying several kilometers above a hostile alien planet, Oro resisted the urge to close his eyes. Instead, he sat with his hands firmly gripping the sides of his seat, and stared unwaveringly as Tuvok calmly plunged the shuttle towards the planet’s surface.

“Voyager’s shields are up,” B’Elanna’s disembodied voice reported. Oro jumped at the voice, and shook his head as he reminded himself that she was on another shuttle, and that they must have a sort of communication system that linked the ships. He finally gave in, and closed his eyes. Better to be calm than a nervous wreck.

“The three Bint’Ari ships are following close behind,” Torres continued. “And the Khamish squad is going to stay behind, and make certain that none of the Borg ships interfere with our landing. The ranking Lieutenant says that as soon as we are safely on the surface, they are going down themselves to make several attack runs before regrouping with the landing parties.”

“Acknowledged, Tuvok out.” Tuvok glanced over at Oro, who still had his eyes closed.

“Are you alright?” he asked.

Oro opened his eyes, and focused foreword, trying not to let his embarrassment show. “I’m fine,” he calmly replied.

“Out of curiosity, how many Borg are on this planet?” Oro asked, after several moments of silence.

“Exactly two point six billion,” Tuvok replied. Still focusing on piloting the shuttle, he glanced casually at the sensors, to affirm his statement. With a look of confusion, Tuvok reached over and punched commands into the sensor console.

“What’s wrong?” Oro asked.

“The sensors are completely inoperative,” Tuvok replied.

“Sappho to Heston,” Torres’s voice filled the cabin. “Tuvok, can you see anything?”

“Negative, Lieutenant, it would appear that the Borg have reactivated their sensor block,” Tuvok replied. “I would recommend descending as quickly as possible to an altitude of nine kilometers, and holding position there until we get a clear view of the area.”

“OK Tuvok, I’ll relay that to the other ships,” Torres replied, before she closed the channel.

“What if we get attacked?” Oro asked. “We won’t be able to see to avoid being destroyed!”

“We will not be attacked,” Tuvok steadily replied. “The Borg would not be able to get a weapon’s lock on any of our ships while we are in the disruption band. Here is the safest place for our ships.”

“I see,” Oro replied. He returned his gaze to the planet below, and found it fascinating. Oro had never seen another planet before, at least, not this close. He could still remember his father taking him to the observatory when he was younger, to look through the giant telescopes. For a long time, Oro wanted nothing more than to be an astronaut.

His father.

His father had killed himself rather than endure the Borg’s voice one moment longer. Hanged himself less than a day before the destruction of the cube in orbit of Bint’Ari. Less than a day before most of the people who were afflicted by the Borg mind-rape had their burdens lifted.

One day longer and Oro would have had his father. Now both of his parents were gone forever, victims of the Borg.

Suddenly, Oro was not quite so afraid anymore.

“Sensors are coming back online,” Tuvok reported. Before he finished that short sentence, the entire cabin was bathed in the flashing light of a red alert. Tuvok quickly turned his chair to see what had set off the alarm.

“Three small ships are approaching from the surface,” Tuvok said, before Oro could ask what was wrong. A diagram of the ships appeared on the lower corner of the view-screen.

Each of the craft were nothing more than a Borg drone equipped with an impressive exo-suit. The suit resembled a small jet, with two large disrupter protruding on both sides of the Borg’s head, as well as thruster packs scattered along the belly and the rear of the small ship.

The Borg fighters wasted no time. They immediately moved in and destroyed one of the Bint’Ari transport ships, and swung around to begin their second pass.

Each of the shuttles raised their shields and moved to protect the remaining two transport ships. The dogfight was short-lived, as the shuttle far outclassed the small Borg flight-suits.

“I’m feeding the coordinates of likely target sights to the other ships,” said Tuvok, without wasting a moment. Without another word, he turned the shuttle towards the surface and began a rapid descent.

The leader of the Delta Blue squad made her way through the giant cloud of debris. Not that she had any idea where she was going, she had not been privy to any of the alternative plans for the attack on the cubes. When the attack began, she was but a mere Captain, one of over a hundred in the squad. Now, she was the only member of the squad, the rest destroyed in a nuclear/antimatter blast. Her onboard sensors were totally destroyed in the explosion, and she was unable to reach her own Mothership for direction, as her comm-signal was drowned out by the thousands of other signals that flooded the ship.

The silence of the space around her made the situation even more uncomfortable. She knew that all around her was a battle of epic proportions, yet she could not hear any of the explosions, none of the engines of the fighters streaking by their targets, nor could she hear commands filtering down the channels, each squad leader given orders on where to strike next. Her own communication system was blocked from receiving signals from any other squadron. This feature was suppose to ease the confusion of several thousand signals being exchanged by an equal number of fighters, so that the proper orders were received and followed by the proper people.

This was supposed to be an easy victory, a decisive defeat of the Borg by the powerful Khamish. But now that the Borg had found a way, one ridiculously primitive way, to destroy hundreds of Khamish fighters in one blow, defeat of the Borg seemed an almost impossible task.

The hopelessness of her situation snapped inside of the Captain. With her mothership destroyed, it was entirely possible that even if the battle ended in a victory, she would not be returning home. Death, at this point, was inevitable. Her ship could not return home, nor could it dock with another Mothership. Those would undoubtedly be filled to capacity. And the fighter was not designed for planet-landings, only tractor-docking in Motherships. No matter what happened, the Captain would be stranded out in space.

Death in the void of space by dehydration, hunger, or suffocation when the fighter’s life support system went down was not the way the Captain wanted to go out. With a renewed determination, she looped her fighter out of the debris field, and charged towards the first combat area that she could find.

“Identify yourself, pilot,” the voice over her comm-system demanded as she blew past a nearby Mothership.

“Captain, Delta Blue One-Two-Six,” she replied, still surging foreword.

“This is Alpha Mother, Delta Blue One-Two-Six. Where is your commanding officer?”

“The Lieutenant Colonel is dead, Alpha Mother. I am the ranking officer,” the Captain replied.

“Please maintain position beside Alpha Mother, so that we can reassign you to an active squadron.”

“Negative Alpha Mother. Delta Blue One-Two-Six out.” The Captain ignored the string of protests that bled through her earpiece. She knew that what she had just done was a capital offense, akin to mutiny, and technically she was now an open target to any and all Khamish ships in the area. Somehow, she doubted that any of the struggling fighters would even take notice of her.

The battle around the cube was hard for the Captain to take in all at once. There was no sense of order to the surrounding fighters, all were trying to stay as far away from each-other as possible, to avoid any chain-reaction explosions. The Borg cube was still trying everything that it could to destroy the attackers, everything from random shots of a cutting beam, grabbing a fighter with a tractor beam and swinging it out of control, to suddenly moving one way or the other in hopes that some of the fighters were moving to close to the cube to avoid being hit. Their efforts were not entirely futile, occasionally a fighter would lose control, and come to a violently explosive end.

It did not take long for the Captain to reach the cube, as fast as she was traveling. She turned along the one of the sides of the massive ship, coming as close as she could to it without scraping the bottom of her hull. From this perspective, the Captain thought that the cube looked frighteningly like the surface of a planet rather than a ship, the edge an ever distant horizon. She focused attentively to the metallic lattice that made up the hull of the cube, the seemingly random grooves and crevasses covering the whole of the surface.

Directly in front of her, a circular door on the surface of the cube opened up, and a sphere slightly larger than her fighter shot out. After she passed underneath it, she turned her attention briefly to her sensor readout to check its progress. It had collided with another fighter making a lacing run at a higher altitude, destroying it and two other fighters in the resulting explosion.

Then an idea came to her. She programmed her ships sensors to look for similar circular impressions along the cube’s surface. She then slowed her fighter in order to get a clear picture. She changed course and headed for the first one that her sensors found. As she passed over it, she released four of her full load of antimatter pods, and waited for the automatic signal that each pod sent out after it had attached itself to the surface. She then looped around for another pass, and fired her bolt cannons at the circular indentation. As she had hoped, several of the shots hit the pods, rupturing them. The resulting explosion tore away a small section of the cube’s outer hull, revealing what the Captain had hoped for, one of the tubes from which the spheres were being launched from.
The Captain recited a prayer to the Great Hive Mother, and slipped her fighter into the dark tunnel. She could not even see the sphere in front of her when it crashed into her ship, igniting the antimatter onboard into a fantastic explosion that eventually worked its way through the entire cube.

Hundreds of Khamish fighters limped their way back to the Alpha Mother to regroup. Each and every person who was involved in the attack had no idea why their enemy had suddenly exploded, but not one of them wished it hadn’t happened.

Star Trek, Voyager, and related properties are © Paramount Studio, and the author makes no claim towards them.

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