Ti’Hat and the Vulcan: Prologue

Prologue
Yusih pulled a cloth from his pocket and wiped his brow. It was growing extremely hot outside as summer approached, and soon the Kipux Festival would be upon them. Yusih worked late into the evening during this part of the season, in order to finish the planting on time. It was considered a bad omen to seed any fields after the Festival.
The Kipux Festival was also known as Thanksgiving to Yshiuey, Consort to the Lady Hriuh, the one true God of the Miyoe people. Throughout the year, night progressively got shorter and shorter until the day of the festival, when there is no night at all. That is the day when the orbit of Miyoe crossed between its two suns, Hriuh and Yshiuey, and there is light for a full day.
This is a time of safety for the Miyoe. All of the nocturnal predators went into hibernation during this time to avoid the long days. The hunters would then go deep into the wilderness to bring back food for the communities, without fear of attack during the night. In return for that gift of safety from Yshiuey, a festival in His name is held.
The Festival was but two days away, and Yusih was falling behind. The heavy rains came very soon after the Festival, and at that point, it was impossible to continue planting. If he could not finish the planting, his crop could be dangerously small. He may not even have enough grain to trade for meat from the year’s hunt. His family would go hungry.
Xeseh, his wife, laughed at his concern. Each year Yusih said the same thing, fretting that he would not finish the planting on time. But every year he finished, and with plenty of time to spare. The family had never once gone hungry.
Yusih looked across the field to his son, barely walking, who had come to help his “Daddy” with the planting. The tiny boy was eagerly pushing as much soil as he could into a pile, giggling as he poured seeds atop it. Even though the farming was just a game to the small boy, seeing his young son in the fields still brought Yusih joy. Soon, the boy would be strong enough to help with the daily chores, and then they would be able to grow more than ever. Not only would the family be secure, but they would make a considerable amount extra. Then, Yusih would be able to rest easily.
An odd shadow moving across the ground caught Yusih’s attention. It was too soon in the year for any clouds (though for a moment he did fear the rain had come unusually early), and there were no birds in this part of the country that large. He looked up, curious about the odd apparition.
A moment after Yusih’s eyes protected themselves with a thin, third eyelid, he was able to look up through the glare of the suns. He was not at all certain what he saw! It was very close to the Yshiuey sun, so close that it was almost concealed in the glare. But there is was, a giant, dark, shape, almost like a moon, just floating in the sky!
It must be a sign from God. What else could it be? Perhaps She was going to punish mankind for something not yet revealed. Maybe She would come bearing a gift, a reward for the Miyoe’s loyal worship and adherence to Her Word. But there was no way to be sure.
He scooped up his son, who was still playing with a bag of seeds, and rushed him inside of the house. Perhaps he was being too worrisome, as his wife so often accused him of being. For all he knew, someone’s house could have been blown in the air by a freak whirlwind. His eyes were simply playing tricks on him. He had been out in the hot sun all day.
He looked up, again. It was still a cube. And it was getting larger.
Yusih rushed into the house, and plopped his son into the confused arms of his wife. Without explaining why, he told her to stay inside, as he rushed out the door and galloped towards the town square as fast as his uyrid would carry him.
Twenty minutes later, Yusih and his tired steed trotted into the dusty town of Logoro-Yu’Dabi. Already there was a large group of people congregated around the steps in front of the temple. There, the High Priestess was leading the crowd in a prayer. Yusih tapped his head in respect as he walked by, hurrying towards the office of the mayor.
There, too, a large crowd had gathered. Already the object had tripled in size, and was partially eclipsing the Yshiuey sun. The light from the Yshiuey sun was blazing around the squarish shape, casting a dark shadow on the ground beneath it. It was impossible for anyone to miss the spectacle in the sky. The people around the Mayor’s door were in a panic, and all were chattering unanswerable questions so quickly that very few could hope to be understood. One thing almost everyone could agree on was that this was most certainly a sign from Hriuh, but what did it mean?
Yusih slumped against a wall, not knowing what could be done. Clearly he was not going to get any answers from the Mayor. He would be lucky to have a question heard over the frantic crowd. So there he sat and prayed, hoping the answer would come to him. It did.
It materialized right in front of him. Yusih shot to his feet as a dull blue shimmer of light appeared just in front of him. As the light faded, part of it solidified into a tall, pale creature. It was a good deal thinner than the average Miyoe, and wore the most fantastic clothing. Hard, blue armor covered parts of a single, black bodysuit made of a most unusual fabric. A sort of helmet wrapped around the back of the creature’s pale, bald head that covered one eye. The piece that covered the eye glowed the most brilliant red Yusih had ever seen, almost as if there were a tiny lamp inside of the creature’s head. Three cords looped in and out of its head, like handles on a bucket.
The thing stood for a moment, looking around in all directions. Finally his eye settled foreword, looking intently on Yusih, who was frozen with fear. The creature (without changing the blank expression that was frozen on its face) abruptly walked toward Yusih, eye unwavering.
He tried to run, but his legs would not respond. He was frozen in place by an incomprehensible fear. This creature must be a god, or some sort of demon! Only such a one would have the power to appear out of nowhere. Now he prayed. He prayed that Yshiuey would grant him the strength to flee. He prayed that Hriuh would strike the creature dead before him with a bolt of lightning, and save Her loyal son. Neither would happen.
The creature reached out when he was close enough, and wrapped its fingers around Yusih’s neck with a strength he had never before imagined possible. He was certain that it would be but a second before it snapped his spine. Instead, two snakelike fangs lashed out from the creature’s. After they bit into Yusih’s neck, the creature tossed him aside, and moved away.
At first, Yusih thought the unbelievable: he was safe. The demon had left. But the feeling lasted but for a second.
First, his face began to itch.
The itching quickly spread throughout his body.
Slowly, the itching turned to burning.
Soon, he felt as if the skin would melt away from his body.
It was then that the throbbing began. He reached up and held his head, hoping somehow that his hands would be able to stop the torturous pain. He could feel the tight cords bulging out the side of his face. Finally, he could no longer could tolerate it. His limbs went limp. Yusih faded from consciousness, his soul fleeing from the hellish pain that was now running rampant throughout his body. His limbs shook with violent seizures. Every inch of him begged for the release of death.
—
Then there was peace. Yusih could not feel any pain. He could feel nothing for that matter, nor could he open his eyes. It was as if his consciousness were locked in a tiny box with no doors. It was better than the torture he was going through, so Yusih welcomed it.
“Join us,” a woman’s Voice whispered. Strangely, the Voice seemed as if it belonged among Yusih’s thoughts, so he had to force himself to be startled.
“Who are you?” he finally managed to reply.
“We are Borg,” the Voice tenderly replied, after a moment of silence.
The answer made no sense to the confused Miyoe. He had never heard of anything called a Borg.
“Join you? Why do you want me to join you?”
“Your species has in its biological makeup a certain metabolic quality which We desire. We will incorporate it into our Collective.”
Yusih barely understood a word of what the Voice had said. He was but a farmer, and the explanation sounded like nothing more than a bunch of mystical mumbo-jumbo to him, something that was the purview of a priest, not a simple farmer. He decided it would not be worth the trouble to ask for it to be explained more simply.
“Join us,” the Voice repeated after the long silence. Louder this time, and much more forceful.
“What are ‘Borg?’” Yusih asked.
A terrible image filled his mind. He saw himself being strangled by the tall pale creature. Then, he faded from view, and the odd thing stood menacingly in his mind. Then, there were two such creatures. Then, thousands, marching towards him.
“We are Borg,” the Voice replied.
Yusih’s mind lashed out against the Voice, as if it still had a body with which to fight. Still, the Voice remained, unmoved by his show of anger.
“Join us!” the Voice repeated, louder than ever.
“Why should I join you? You who appear out of nowhere like a devil in a myth. You attacked me! You took my body from me! Hriuh will strike you down. She will free me!” Yusih’s mind struggled to find its missing limbs so that it could flee.
“We are Hriuh.”
Yusih was stunned. “We are Hriuh?” What sort of nonsense was that? But his anger left him, as he tried to grasp what the Voice meant by such a blasphemous declaration.
“If you truly are Hriuh, you would make yourself known to me. Let me look upon you, and I will know what you say is true!”
The same image of the pale blue creatures filled his mind. He tried to turn away, but he had no head with which to turn. Finally, the image faded. Yusih laughed, loudly.
“You are not Hriuh. She is Beauty in its purest form! I see nothing of that divine loveliness in those demons. Fraud!”
“Beauty is irrelevant.”
Unbidden, a passage floated through his thoughts. “True beauty has not to do with appearance, but it is a reflection of the good you accomplish. I could be as you see me now, or in the shape of the vilest of slime-beasts, and I would be just as beautiful. My Love for my children, each and all of you, is why this is so.”
It was from the Holy Text. One that Yusih had read only once, when he was a child. It was odd that he thought of it now, as he could have never recited when bidden. It left him silent, for the moment.
“Join us!” the Voice boomed.
“Who are you?” Yusih screamed.
“We are Borg,” the Voice calmly replied.
“Why should I join you?”
A powerful image consumed him. Power. He felt a surge of limitless power. He could see hundreds upon hundreds of creatures, like the one that attacked him, marching across strange worlds. Unstoppable. Nothing could defeat the Borg. very few could even muster the courage to try.
The heavens! These creatures could travel through the heavens! Yusih had always admired the birds in the sky, for they could do what no Miyoe could, fly. But these Borg could go higher, and farther than any bird could fly. Other worlds in the sky! And great sky-ships that could take you there, moved by nothing more than a thought. So much power to behold.
His mind filled with images of facts, data, trivial things and important revelations about life and the universe. There was so much to know! Questions were answered before he could think of them. Knowledge flowed through his mind like a great river, more than any one mind could possibly hold. And he understood how every bit of it was possible.
The image faded, slowly. He forgot all of the things he knew then, but he remembered how it felt. The power to rule all. The wisdom to know all, and the skill to do anything. It was so tempting!
“Evil!” he cried. “You tempt me with absolute power and unattainable wisdom. You have revealed yourself. You are not Hriuh!”
There was already conflict, however. Part of his mind longed for the knowledge again. He could feel an irresistible pull towards the Voice. He would not submit, though. He used all of his strength to regain control of his mind.
“Resistance is futile! Join us!”
“I will not submit to you! I will fight you with everything that I am.”
“You are irrelevant.”
Yusih thought of his family, his wife and son, and all the work he did to support them both. He was NOT irrelevant to them. He said so to the Voice.
His mind was again bombarded with images. First he saw hunger. He experienced a lifetime of starvation in moments. He heard his young boy wailing because he had next to nothing to eat in days. He saw his wife, frail and ridiculously thin from giving what food she had to her child. He, too, felt weak and hungry. Bruises covered their bodies, injuries sustained so much easier due to the lack of nutrition.
He saw himself breaking his leg from falling off of his uyrid, an almost impossible injury. It would take months instead of weeks for the bone to heal properly. In the meantime, his son would die of malnutrition. His wife would struggle to find whatever work she could do to feed herself, and crippled husband, only to fail.
He was important to them, but he could not guarantee their well-being. He could make a mistake, or bad luck could befall the family, and there would be nothing he could do to help them. Their faith in him would be their death!
The image frightened him. So often he worried about the crop not being planted on time, or the rains either washing away the crops in an early flood or the wet never coming at all. The seeds he was counting on to grow could have rotted and died, leaving him no crop at all. He thought of the disease that could rampage through his crop, or accidental fires that could spread out of hand, leaving him nothing to harvest in the fall. He thought of the failure of the hunters to find enough game. Costs for meat would be too high for him to afford.
He tried to close the thoughts out of his mind, but still they came, unbidden.
Robbers, disease, famine, war: Any number of unnamable accidents that could take the lives of any member of his family. God Herself could strike any one of them down on a whim. A wild fu-har could break into his home while he was away, and make off with his son.
He was irrelevant.
There was nothing he could do to prevent these things from happening. It was dumb luck that his family had survived to this point. There was absolutely no way he could hope to guarantee the safety and well-being of his family in the future.
Another image filled his mind. The vastness of the universe. It was similar to the feeling of omniscience he felt before. He could see everything that existed! Other stars, other worlds, other races of intelligent beings, each with their own complex societies, other galaxies: vast, all encompassing, space. Endless realms of existence that he never imagined could exist.
But the knowledge behind it was gone. He couldn’t understand any of it. All that he saw was space, infinite space. And in it, he was but a tiny man, on a tiny world. Hriuh herself was a fleck of dust next to such a vast infinity. His existence meant nothing to the grand scheme of the universe. He would die, and never be missed. The whole universe would never even know he existed, nor care.
He was truly irrelevant. But the Borg -
Again he saw the power. Not as overwhelmingly as before, only a taste. His mind ached for more. Nonexistent hands reached out to pull the omnipotence closer.
“No!” he screamed. The Voice remained silent.
“Why do you show me these things?” he cried.
“We wish to help you.”
“By causing me pain?”
“We desire to end pain. End suffering. End limits imposed by lack of resources or knowledge. We seek the destruction of fear and despair. In order for you to desire these things as we do, you must experience them. We want to improve life for all peoples.
“For you, these misfortunes are an utter reality. Pain and fear are real. So are worry and despair. For us, these things are irrelevant. Such an existence could be a reality for you, and your people.”
“How?”
“Join us!” the Voice again boomed.
“I, I don’t believe you.”
But he did believe the Voice. He saw the truth of it. He could see himself, Part of a massive body of Borg drones on the surface of a faraway planet. He could see the thousands of Borg all around him, working in unison to acquire the culture. He was one of them, fearlessly working through the annoying resistance the aliens were putting up. He was hit by beam of light, an energy weapon. He didn’t understand the nature of the weapon, but he knew it was a shot that would have normally killed him.
Before that moment, he understood little of any sort of non-bladed weapon. But as the light streak slammed into him, he knew he should have died. But he wouldn’t. He was protected from the shot, but not entirely. He was severely wounded by the blast.
The entire collective responded to that one hit. Thousands upon thousands of Borg, each and every one of them, focused on him. The wound was healed in moments. An implant secreted a numbing agent so that he never felt the pain of the shot. The minds of the Collective worked together to heal their wounded companion. At the same time, they remembered the shot. They studied it, and within seconds, no Borg would ever be wounded by that sort of a weapon ever again.
In his vision, Yusih had only sustained a minor flesh wound. The only injury during the entire onslaught. And he felt no fear, no anguish. Just power. He was invincible.
More thoughts drifted through his mind. Hunger was gone. As Borg, he would never need eat again. The Collective provided all of the nutrients he could ever need.
Question after question would be answered with no strain at all. As Borg, knowledge was infinite. Millions of minds holding more knowledge than his one, small mind could hope to hold.
Sickness was non-existent. As Borg, his body was immune to all forms of disease.
No hunger. No pain. No fear. No plague. No ignorance. No weakness.
That was Borg. He was Borg.
That very moment, he gave himself to the Borg.
He could feel his consciousness thinning. A small part of who he was receded into the furthest depths of his mind. There he would remain, locked in a sort of mental prison.
The rest of his mind joined with the Collective. It spread out like a drop of water in the ocean, hopelessly thin. His own voice was lost in the voices of millions upon millions of minds.
He opened his eyes. Rather, the Borg opened the eyes of their newest appendage. Its eyes scanned the dark room it had been laying in. Around it, were several Borg, methodically preparing various attachments for the new drone’s body.
—
The world erupted into total chaos in minutes. Strange creatures materialized out of thin air everywhere. Messengers sent from one town requesting help arrived at the next to find it completely decimated.
Logoro-Yu’Dabi was no different. The town was a panic scene thanks to the cube that was slowly blotting out the Yshiuey sun. Most didn’t even notice the arrival of the three creatures at first - they came out of nowhere. When someone finally did notice, it was too late. The first fell at the hands of one of the menacing creatures nearby the mayor’s office. A woman screamed at the sight. Hundreds more of the creatures appeared all around the square.
Most people ran. The town was mostly full of farmers and merchants, and none wanted to risk a confrontation with what must be the agents of Evil. The few warriors that were nearby drew their blades and rushed towards the creatures. Not to be outdone, the hunters joined in, stringing their bows and trying to hit any of the creatures that they could. A few arrows struck true, but most bounced uselessly off of the strange armor that the creatures wore.
A few of the creatures fell, at first. They were not expecting any resistance from what they perceived as an entirely primitive organic life form. A few that were in the process of assimilating the Miyoe were felled by an arrow or hacked to bits by a Miyoe warrior’s sword.
In the end, though, the Borg were too many for the struggling Miyoe. They would capitalize instantly on any mistake their opponent made, and seconds later the Miyoe would either be dead or Borg.
The Borg said very little. They would occasionally announce to no one in particular that resistance was futile, or that they would soon become one with the Borg. The Miyoe understood little of what the Borg drones were saying, but they did understand resistance. They knew that submission meant a fate worse than death. To them, this was an epic battle between good and evil. They only need hold out until Lady Hriuh herself came down and punished these upstart demons. They would not be tempted into giving up their souls to what must be the minions of Kelliy, Lord of Evil. This, to the Miyoe, was the prophesied apocalypse from the Holy Text.
It was only minutes before the town was emptied of all that were not Borg. Most had fled back to their farms, to gather their families so that they all could run to the nearby mountains for safety. There were only a few incidence of attack on the farms, as they were too spread out for the Borg to take notice of, yet.
The town was converted into a Borg collective at a frightening pace. In less than a day, it went from a place that had never seen the likes of a computer, to a mass of technological superstructure.
The Miyoe were assimilated slowly. The surface collective was not yet ready to handle their own assimilation, so a steady stream of Miyoe were transporting back and forth between the cube and the surface, in order to undergo the final stages of the process.
—
Yusih returned to the surface only a short time after his departure. Not that he really remembered what his name was. He only knew himself as Nine of Fifteen, and that was the only designation that had any meaning for him..
The Collective controlled every aspect of Yusih now. He was never hungry. The implants on his body knew exactly what nutrients he needed at any given time, and supplied them instantly. Any and all waste products his body produced were re-absorbed by the strange, black suit he wore and used where needed. If he walked somewhere, the Collective controlled his legs. The Collective beat his heart for him. It breathed for him. It told him when it was time to rest and when it was time to work.
As little control over his body and mind that he had, there was still a part of Yusih that remained. Buried deep inside of his mind was that one small fragment of consciousness. But it had no power with which to fight. It just watched, powerless to stop what the Collective chose for his body to do.
Nine of Fifteen, as he was now known as, marched foreword methodically, searching for stray Miyoe that had escaped the preliminary assault. It saw up in the distance four Borg miners, already beginning to take every useful metal that the land had to offer.
Slowly, Nine of Fifteen made his way on to an open farmland, just planted. The scanners on the cube in orbit indicated non-Borg life signs in the area, and the Collective directed the drone in that direction to verify and correct the situation.
The cube’s sensors directed the drone towards a small, wooden structure towards the center of the open land. Open land! The thought was almost repulsive to the Collective. Directly beneath the ground that Nine of Fifteen was walking was a rich vein of iron. Such a waste of resources. This backwards civilization would let it sit in the ground, when it could be dug up and used for countless useful things. Most inefficient.
Nine of Fifteen pushed its way through the door of the small structure. Somewhere inside it heard the muffled whimper of a small child. The drone made his way to the rear of the little house, into a large bedroom.
A woman stood, holding a small boy in her arms.
“Yusih!” she gasped.
The drone said nothing. The Collective struggled for a moment to comprehend the woman’s unexpected behavior.
“What has happened to you, my love?” the woman gently asked, as she set the boy down on the bed. Cautiously, she moved towards the drone.
“Xeseh,” the drone replied, accessing the name from the memory of the drone. “I have been healed, my love.”
Xeseh was frightened my the odd tone of her husband’s voice. But he was alive! Whatever those things roaming around outside were, her husband was alive. And with luck, she could keep it that way. Gently, she touched the plasteel casing that covered the arm of her husband.
“Were you sick?”
“Yes, it was a terrible disease. Weakness and ignorance were its symptoms. But now, I am healed. And I have come to heal you, too.”
“Silly,” Xeseh laughed. “There is nothing wrong with us!” She reached up and caressed his cold, colorless face. “I am glad you are home, love. You are so pale!”
The drone reached up and passed his gloved hand down the face of the woman. “This won’t hurt at all, my love,” it whispered as the tubes shot out of his fingers and bit into her neck.
“Yusih!” Xeseh screamed her last word as she dropped to the floor, weeping in pain.
“No!” Yusih’s mind raged against the Borg, and against his own body. He had given in to the Borg, he was weak. Now he would have to live forever in this Hell that he had made for himself. But not his wife, not his family. He would not be the instrument of their damnation.
But he already was. His wife, slowly weeping on the floor. He could already sense her thoughts drifting. Her own husband betrayed her, and her son was soon to follow. What had she left to live for? She submitted to the hive mind much faster than Yusih thought possible. He watched helplessly as his own body helped his wife to her feet, to be transported back to the cube. A second later, she was gone.
The boy stared blankly at his father. Yusih understood his confusion. He had just seen his mother disappear into thin air. His father was but a ghost of the man that he was, pale blue skin instead of deep red, all hair removed, and strange clothing to match the hollow voice.
The drone reached down to the boy, in order to complete the assimilation of this family. Yusih’s mind raged in protest.
And, to his surprise, the body stopped.
Yusih tried to pull the arm back, but he couldn’t. The Collective was struggling against him, trying to regain control of the appendage. And, they were stronger.
The arm inched towards the boy, Yusih using every ounce of his strength to hold the arm back for just one second longer. But still the arm moved foreword, inch by inch.
Yusih realized that he was going to lose. The Collective was too strong for him. But he would not allow them to take his son. He could not let them steal everything his son had, and mock the poor child as they used his body at their own convenience. He would spare his son that torture.
Yusih ceased pulling the arm back. He added every ounce of his strength into helping the Borg, helping them push his arm towards the boy who sat perfectly still, paralyzed by fright.
The arm shot foreword, frighteningly fast, must faster than the Borg could hope to expect. The boy crumpled on the bed from the force of the impact. It took seconds for the blood to soak the covers, and drip onto the floor.
The drone turned, unabashed, and walked unhindered out of the small house. Nine of Fifteen moved towards another life sign that the cube in orbit had detected, approximately 1 kilometer to the south.
There would be no more resistance from Yusih. There was no longer any reason. His family was gone, and he had given up all will to live. All Yusih could hope to do was watch as the Collective used his body, their body, as they would.
Within two days, every Miyoe on the planet was either assimilated or dead.
Within a month, it would be next to impossible to distinguish this planet, now designated 0495, from any other Borg world.
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January 16, 2008
Off the Cuff: Anime as a PSA
Comics, Cartoons, and all things related
By Eric Barrett
Some days I’m amazed at just how far cartoons and comics have come to influence daily life. Yesterday as I was watching TV there was an anti-drug advertisement. That’s not totally unusual. You see those PSA’s all the time. But what struck me is that this commercial was in cartoon form.
Specifically anime.
There’s no question that anime has had a profound impact on our entertainment. Cartoon Network’s lineup (especially Adult Swim) is comprised mostly of anime. Some people consider this a bad trend. Personally I like anime and it’s style, so I’m fine with it.
If the people who make PSA’s think anime is what it takes to “reach the kids”, then anime has reached critical mass in this country. And the good news is that it’s pulling comics and cartoons right behind it.
No word on whether it stops kids for doing drugs.
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January 15, 2008
The Gamer’s Quagmire #58: An Uncomfortable Good Time
Everything you wanted to know about gaming, and less.
by Jamison DeLorenzo
As a person who tends to run screaming from social situations it’s hard to fathom how addicted I have become to social gaming. Okay, you’re not going to catch me looking for people to play High School Musical with. What I mean is that Guitar Hero and Rock Band have both worked their way into my main gaming rotation. Or, to be more accurate, they’ve moved in, taken over the living room, require regular meals, and demand constant attention.
All this talk about things moving in, taking over my life, and recovery this must sounds like a thinly veiled venting of moving past a bad breakup. This is uncomfortable- let’s just move on.
Despite the circling overtones of negativity the attention is well deserved. Any recovering online addict will tell you that a distraction is needed to remove the taint from your system until you’ve moved on. With World of Warcraft banished from my gaming realm I needed something to fill the sudden and uncomfortable void, and two games have done that for me. Rock Band et al has a dark power of allowing one to move past the always embarrassing air guitar or steering wheel drumset while providing soothing music to play along with (yes, there are days that transform classics from Iron Maiden into digital audio therapy). Sure, you’re still playing a fake instrument but now it is a popular video game so you have nothing to worry about.
I realize that I am very late to the party- not just for the aforementioned musical games but for getting into games that change how we interact with them. I never disliked the control ideas that drove the creation of the EyeToy, DS, or the Wii. The Dance Pad brings something to the table also, and while I would not be caught dead playing DDR, anything that brings hoards of females into gaming is not something I would initially call a bad thing.
For the record, any male gamer who claims not to have enjoyed watching women play DDR once in their life is a liar. Please understand that normally I would not feel the need to defend myself for being entertained by certain games. If this makes you think I’m nothing more than a juvenile pervert then go ahead and enjoy, but know that least I am the one being honest.
… let’s keeping moving on.
The real reason these games are compelling isn’t just because they provide a different way to play or because they let you think that you are a music superstar performing on stage. These games are a draw because you can hang out playing these games with friends and have a good time. It is true that not all songs in these games are gems (for example, anyone who feels the need to do a cover of Ballroom Blitz is inflicting unwanted and excruciating pain on society), but when you get multiple friends embarrassing themselves along with you playing these games it is strangely impossible not to have a good time.
The revelation for me isn’t that I enjoy this type of game or even that getting friends together to play these games is now an enjoyable experience. Normally what encourages me to spit out a few thoughts about a game or related idea is something I read online or in some gaming magazine that forces me to either cheer loudly because somebody else agrees with my point of view (which is admittedly rather uncommon) or to go on some long tirade about how insane something is. This time I felt the need to share this sudden love affair with you all. If you have been hesitant to give these games a try you need to find someone who has them and give it a go. I honestly believe you will not be disappointed.
Wait- I’ve gone from breaking up to being a pervert to admitting to an affair. I better call it a week before this goes any further.
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On The Shelf This Week - 01.16.08

HIGHLIGHTS OF THE WEEK
Order any of the below titles by clicking here!
AMAZING SPIDER-GIRL #16, $2.99, 32 Pages, Marvel Comics
Written by Tom Defalco, Art by Ron Frenz
This issue has the potential to be fun. It is another one-shot for Mayday (Spider-Girl is always best in one-shot form), this time introducing a new invisible villain that kills with a touch. That is really a good foil for Spider-Girl - as strong as her Spider-sense is, she should have no trouble detecting him and knowing how to hit him, but one mistake?
Of course, we all know she isn’t going to die. But the threat of it is what makes the story good. Should be a nice dose of classic superhero action.
AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #547, $2.99, 32 Pages, Marvel Comics
Written by Dan Slott, Art by Steve McNiven, Dexter Vines, and Morry Hollowell
Fans are certainly upset in the wake of One More Day. And honestly, can you blame them? It wasn’t handled well at all, and few people seemed genuinely pleased by it. However - I stand by my original assertion that it had to happen. One More Day might have been more like drinking Castor Oil than popping a fruit-flavored Flintstones vitamin, but it was still medicine the title sorely needed.
Of course fans are a little upset that some of the high points of the last couple decades have been wiped clean, like the marriage. But invariably when you see criticism, and demands that things be restored to normal, you almost always see “well, we could do without the Clone Saga.”
One More Day was handled badly. There is no nicer way to say it. But even as botched as it was, it was needed. From the looks of things, the first issue of a Brand New Day was pretty decent. We got a taste of Dan Slott’s work on Spider-Man way back on Free Comic Book Day last year, so we all had an idea of what to expect.
So yeah - getting here was rough. And we lost a lot of good stuff. But that doesn’t mean Spider-Man is ruined - in fact, in many ways he is fixed. And that was the goal of this whole thing. So as long as the quality of the new comics is good, there is no reason to give up on the web-slinger after one more botched story.
FEAR AGENT #18 HATCHET JOB (PT 2 OF 5), $2.99, 32 Pages, Dark Horse
Written by Rick Remender, Art by Jerome Opena and Michelle Madsen
Whew! That’s a relief. Fear Agent is occasionally late, (not as much as it was at Image, but its record is far from perfect at Dark Horse) but this was staring to be a concern. This issue was due out late last month, and the scheduled release date just came and went, with no mention at all of when we would be seeing it. Heck, as of this moment, the Dark Horse site still reflects a December release, and they are usually quite good about updating those.
So a big sigh of relief there. There is so little sci-fi of this caliber in comics these days - it would be a shame for it to go into comic limbo.
NEW EXILES #1, $2.99, 32 Pages, Marvel Comics
Written by Chris Claremont, Art by Tom Grummett, Scott Hanna, and Wil Quintana
Here is another release that may have some fans groaning, but might end up for the best. Long-time Exiles fans are understandably upset at the fate of their series - It was battered and bruised during its long run, and having Chris Claremont come aboard to hammer the coffin closed just seemed like one to many. While Blink and what was the Exiles have come to a close, that doesn’t mean this new version won’t be good. Claremont has a bad reputation these days, mostly deserved, but a lot of times he doesn’t get credit where it is due. He doesn’t do well when taking over established concepts, but when he is writing a book that is uniquely his own (New Excalibur, for example), he usually does a passable job, if not enjoyable.
While it will be impossible to sell Exiles fans on this title in many cases, if you look at this issue as the start of a brand-new series, and ignore what came before, you might actually like it on its own merits. It is possible, anyway.
WOLVERINE ORIGINS #21, $2.99, 32 Pages, Marvel Comics
Written by Daniel Way, Art by Steve Dillon and Matt Milla
This is an issue that Deadpool fans might want to pick up. It starts a brand new 5 issue arc that pits Wade Wilson against Wolverine, and it also starts - well, more on that later!
INCREDIBLE HERCULES #113, $2.99, 32 Pages, Marvel Comics
Written by Greg Pak and Fred Van Lente, Art by Khoi Pham and Stephane Peru
It is no use missing the Hulk - he is gone from the pages of this title. Oddly, that isn’t bad though. This is the first official “Incredible Hercules” issue, but the story really started last month in the final Incredible Hulk. This move has promise - Hercules is a character ripe for a resurgence, and thus-far he has been handled brilliantly.
Everyone likes to get in on a title at the start of something good - this might be one of those moments.
FEAR AGENT #18 HATCHET JOB (PT 2 OF 5) $2.99 Now: $2.69
GRENDEL BEHOLD THE DEVIL #3 (OF 8) $2.99 Now: $2.69
CATWOMAN #75 $2.99 Now: $2.59
CHECKMATE #22 $2.99 Now: $2.69
COUNTDOWN SPECIAL THE NEW GODS $4.99 Now: $4.39
COUNTDOWN TO FINAL CRISIS 15 $2.99 Now: $2.69
JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA #17 $2.99 Now: $2.79
LEGION OF SUPER HEROES IN THE 31ST CENTURY #10 $2.25 Now: $1.99
PROGRAMME #7 (OF 12) $2.99 Now: $2.59
SCOOBY DOO #128 $2.25 Now: $2.59
WORLD OF WARCRAFT #3 $2.99 Now: $2.69
FELL #9 $1.99 Now: $1.79
AMAZING SPIDER-GIRL #16 $2.99 Now: $2.69
AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #547 $2.99 Now: $2.69
AVENGERS CLASSIC #8 $2.99 Now: $2.59
CABLE DEADPOOL #49 $2.99 Now: $2.69
HEROES FOR HIRE VOL 3: WORLD WAR HULK $13.99 Now :$11.99
HOUSE OF M HC $29.99 Now: $24.99
IMMORTAL IRON FIST #12 $2.99 Now: $2.69
INCREDIBLE HERCULES #113 $2.99 Now: $2.69
[url=http://x-worldcomics.com/yourvirtualstore/shopexd.asp?id=26491]INCREDIBLE HERCULES #113 Pham Variant $13.99
IRON MAN POWER PACK #3 (OF 4) $2.99 Now: $2.59
MARVEL ADVENTURES AVENGERS #20 $2.99 Now: $2.59
MARVEL COMICS PRESENTS #5 $3.99 Now: $3.49
MARVEL ILLUSTRATED ILIAD #2 (OF 8) $2.99 Now: $2.59
NEW EXILES #1 $2.99 Now: $2.69
NEW WARRIORS #8 $2.99 Now: $2.69
NEW X-MEN #46 $2.99 Now: $2.69
THUNDERBOLTS BY ELLIS VOL 1 FAITH IN MONSTERS TP $19.99 Now: $15.99
UNCANNY X-MEN #493 2ND PTG VAR $2.99 Now: $2.69
WOLVERINE ORIGINS #21 $2.99 Now: $2.79
X-FACTOR PREM HC MADROX MULTIPLE CHOICE $19.99 Now: $15.99
X-MEN #205 2ND PTG VAR $2.99 Now: $2.84
DEADPOOL ONGOING
Was it planned or a result of fan outrage? Impossible to say. But Wizard recently reported that Daniel Way and Steve Dillon will be starting a new Deadpool ongoing spinning out of Deadpool’s appearance in Wolverine: Origins.
Way’s name attached to this gave a lot of fans who might otherwise have been rejoicing pause. His work in Origins has not been well received, nor has his Ghost Writer. Way’s reputation has gotten so bad that people are honestly speculating that he is really Chuck Austen writing under a pen name. As preposterous as that sounds - it isn’t good company for him to be in.
Will it be terrible? Impossible to stay. Despite some very valid criticism of his recent work, his single issue of Agent X was arguably the best non-Simone-penned issue (and not too bad a read, fixed a lot), and his Bullseye: Greatest Hits series wasn’t all bad. So maybe there is some hope.
Worst case scenario? We find out if a bad Deadpool series is better than none at all. Hopefully it doesn’t come to that though.
NOTE: Opinions here may not reflect those of X-World Comics LLC or it’s staff and are solely the opinions of the writer.
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Manger Massacre
If you have spent any time at all around these parts, you know we have some strange folks contributing.
Did you ever wonder what would happen if you mashed the graphically disturbed mind of Andrea Speed with the out-of-left-field weirdness of Lost Toast’s Brandon Schatz?
Wonder no more! Head on over to AndreaSpeed.com and check out their new collaboration: Manger Massacre!
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