Everything you wanted to know about gaming, and less.

by Jamison DeLorenzo

In the realm of sports gaming, this is the time of year where Madden turns its head as the gaming phenomenon that it is. There are yearly tournaments with cash prizes. Shooters and war simulations are the typical kingpins of the gaming tournaments. It was only natural that the most popular (like Windows is popular) video football game in a country where football is by far and away the most popular sport got a national gaming tournament. ESPN devotes broadcasting hours to it. This is not just because of the strangely consistent Madden cover curse, but because NFL players play the game too.Far be it for me to whine about gaming becoming too popular (you can never have enough gaming), but I am not here to complain about the socio-economic problems that are derived from a monopolistic franchise in a neo-capitalist society. Instead, my focus is to mention my yearly sports exodus that I have embarked on every year since 1999. This is the trip of going through the latest incarnation of the latest Tiger Woods PGA Tour game.

If you needed more evidence that I am a massive geek this should work quite nicely for you. As I have already written lines upon lines of (in)coherent drivel on football and baseball video games here, it was high time that my favorite type of sports game got some attention. My days of playing the PGA Tour series date back to 1992, before EA stapled Tiger onto the franchise. EA has many negative traits, but this move did inject enough attention to the golf game where the game has improved leaps and bounds over the years.

As with a lot of games recently, the franchise is still working hard on improving graphically. If you do not enjoy golf this is hard to defend, but as someone who plays golf recreationally seeing so much detail on a course does bring me closer to a state of euphoria. As I will probably never be willing to shell out the money required to play a round at Pebble Beach or Carnoustie (or display my well-documented inferior skills on world-renowned courses), feeling like I am actually at the course as my character goes through it is a fantastic feeling.

The reason I look forward to the new PGA Tour game every year is because creating a character and raising their skills all the way up is a riveting experience. I feel I need to share this with you not because I expect you to be able to enjoy this vicariously or to convince you that everyone who loves golf should do this, but because anyone who has ever had the thrill of working to level a powerful character in an RPG or put in tons of work to create a powerful team in franchise mode needs to know that this can also happen in a game as slow-paced as golf.

I suppose it is impossible to explain how much fun it is to create a character in a golf game that looks like a digital replica of yourself and make them the most powerful golfer possible, but I do this every year and it never gets old. Part of the idea is that I feel the need to prove myself to the rest of the world that video game golf is one of my strong suits. The skill is not as useful as I would like it to be, such as picking up girls at a bar useful, but playing a quick 18 holes in a life-like world will always have its uses.

On a related note, if you are an avid female golfer and enjoy talking about Tiger Woods PGA Tour, I highly encourage you post in our forums requesting contact information.

Looking at the game from a basic review perspective, it is hard to pinpoint flaws with the game that are anything other than subjective. Being that the only problem that I have seen is a framerate issue that pops from intermittently the game is rock solid. I am not here to write a boring review, however. My goal is to provide everyone who loves golfing games an alternative form of gameplay.

While there are plenty of courses and game modes to keep one occupied for a very long time, the following is a suggestion for a friendly golf game for those people that are of drinking age. If you are unfamiliar with my setup it is quite simple: a Waterfall penalty is finishing your drink, and a Cascade (derivation of a Cascade waterfall which is approximately 5 feet high) penalty means taking a sip. As with all games of this nature, please be responsible.

For your golfing, gaming, and drinking pleasure:

Cascade penalty:
- Bogey a hole
- Missing a putt < 5 feet
- Missing the green on a par 3
- Hitting a shot Out of Bounds
- Not going for the green in 2 on a par 5
- (Skins) Losing a skin

Waterfall penalty:
- +2 or more on a hole
- +1 or more on a par 5
- Multiple Out of Bounds on a hole
- Shot Limit Exceeded
- Highest score after 9 or 18 holes
- (Skins) Losing 3 skins or more on a hole

Enjoy this version of golf, where it is, in fact, okay to drive (the golf ball) drunk.

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