The Gamer’s Quagmire: 25th Edition
- Jamison DeLorenzo

During this long summer before the beginning of the next generation of gaming begins for everyone I have been filled with a lot of anticipation and excitement. For many people the next generation has already begun, which is of course those that own (or have frequent access to) and Xbox 360. Everyone else is choosing to wait for something better or simply for prices to drop as they inevitably do. The most exciting thing for me about new generations is that they come with more power, newer franchises, and fresher ideas. Ideas don’t work every time but seeing what companies are pushing out their front door for games is always interesting.

At least a new era of gaming should be entertaining. This is the first time in my life where I’ve had ample opportunity to read and see pretty much everything. Considering the technology that’s driving these new consoles (both in power and newer control concepts) it felt like reading everything I could felt like the right thing to do. Unfortunately all of the hype and preening that has masqueraded as journalism has left a gaping hole inside me. For the first time in my life excitement about gaming has been completely purged from my system. And I don’t blame any of the companies looking to “win” the upcoming console war. I blame anyone who has picked an allegiance to any console for any reason. From journalists that skew their opinions towards a console or gamers who are already convinced they know everything that’s going to happen let me tell you something- I hate you all. As this is the fifth generation of console gaming you are all hereby dubbed Pentacle Console Vampires. You are guilty of sucking the life out something that is supposed to be the most exciting time for a gamer.

So you have now forced my hand. I can’t sit idly by as you all continue to sling insults back and forth at one another as to why one console is the clear winner and everyone else’s is the ultimate loser. Two machines haven’t even been released to market yet, so shut the hell up. This is about gaming. You want a winner? It is determined by sales and longevity and nothing else. Nothing else is objective no matter how much you like it. Somehow Nintendo finally losing a generational battle with the Nintendo 64 transformed the gaming landscape into incorporating innovation as a real barometer for a generation. Sony has won the last two battles and the next one simply hasn’t started yet.

Every generation has a bunch of new ideas and it doesn’t mean a thing until the damn things are released. Remember when the Dreamcast was being touted as an amazing machine and that it was going to surprise everyone? Nobody got the memo, including Sony. Thanks to poor marketing, a badly implemented VMU, and a line of games that, quite honestly, was not appealing save for maybe two games, the Dreamcast sunk like a stone. Sony put together a powerful machine for which developers were able to create a lot of fun games. The lasting impressions for the generation are: PS2’s long list of games, Xbox Live, and the overall failure of the Gamecube. Anybody who has claimed to have known that would happen is a liar. I expected Nintendo to reclaim the throne after the PS1 blew everything else out of the water. I was wrong.

I never have a favorite for a generation until the next one arrives because that’s the signal that officially puts to rest when certain consoles are no longer going to have games developed for them (with any real vigor at least). Nobody is winning or losing yet. If anything Microsoft should be penalized for a false start penalty seeing how they’re the only ones moving at this point in time. Better still, call this time frame Spring Training. Every generation begins with a learning curve so game developers can become masters at developing for consoles. It’s not until a year into a console’s lifespan are developers able to start tapping into a console’s power.

So, for the sake of my own sanity and other people who are drowning themselves in console bigotry I offer a few points that need to be made. Almost everyone else has been flying off the handle about every little piece of information, or twisting it to fit their own opinions, that they can get their hands on well even before we know whether the information’s accurate. Now it’s my turn. Think of this as a reality check for everyone who thinks they know what’s going on. When you don’t have your hands on the device you know nothing but conjecture.

1) Microsoft did not enter the next generation too early.

Microsoft is a new entrant to the market, so they can’t simply wait around for Sony and Nintendo to release their machines. Microsoft has to be a constant player and be aggressive. Their strengths are twofold: processing power and online play. They are banking on technology and a good development kit attracting more developers to make games for their console. Microsoft does have a good track record for development kits and we know what the 360 is capable of so from that standpoint the 360 is poised to, at the very least, become more entrenched in the video game market.

As for the launch and available games there are plenty of games to be excited about. There is a good variety of games and there is a killer app in Elder Scrolls IV. Perhaps there should be a more impressive lineup, but there are around 6 games that look incredible and games that I would want to have if I wasn’t currently completely invested in PC gaming. Their online delivery system is pretty impressive as well (and I almost couldn’t care less about online play).

To date Microsoft has done almost everything they needed to do with their current console- their only remaining step is to turn a profit (which is obviously a pretty big step). Maybe this will bite them in the end and maybe they’ll figure out hardware profit like Nintendo has for their third go-around. At least right now they have plenty of fun games for their console.

2) Nintendo is not Golden Boy.

Dear god, if I have to read one more story (and I’m sure the number will be over 10 by the end of the day) that someone spins to more unenlightened praise for Nintendo my head is going to explode. I seriously can’t take it anymore. When did Nintendo become the Teflon gaming company? They’ve made mistakes before with innovative ideas and we won’t know how good their new console is going to be until it is released. I’m not going to make any name jokes here (because Revolution couldn’t have been a worse name so they at least upgraded that a little) so don’t think I’m going there. Until we have something tangible from Nintendo and we see how their console works and how well the games work with their controller design it’s time to cease and desist. I’m not kidding.

There is also this weird circular logic that is driving me nuts. People complain about Sony and Microsoft only make a couple different games and that they aren’t doing anything new, meanwhile people love the fact that they have access to all of Nintendo’s old games via download with the Wii. People are also drooling over the next Mario and Link games. What??? You can’t have it both ways. If you’re going to whine about a third sequel for a game surely it’s time to question the 200th Mario game. Nintendo’s games without question reach a broader audience, but if you think Nintendo is the only one in this ballgame you are inhaling the Kool-Aid.

So, once more, Nintendo is not walking down the golden path. They do make mistakes. I’m not saying they are making them now, but to claim that they’re the unquestioned winner for this console generation is way past psychotic. We simply don’t know how well their plan of attack will work. We don’t even know how well their controller will work. It’s a cool idea, but if you are already placing it on a pedestal you better be prepared for a fall because it is possible. Anybody who hitched their bandwagon to the Virtual Boy understands this mentality.

Oh, and by the way, how many handheld devices does Nintendo have to release before they understand the concept of good screen design? They botched it big time with the Gameboy Advance and then they botch it again with the DS? I didn’t think that the DS screen was that bad, but they made it better with the DS Lite. Considering they can’t seem to get the screen right and they are constantly releasing new versions of the same basic handheld, anybody who claims that Nintendo can do no wrong is in trouble because the mannequin store is out of legs for them to stand on.

3) The PS is allowed to evolve too.

Consoles evolve with each gaming generation. Incidentally, this is why I hated the previous name of the Wii so much. If you want the same thing from every new console you’re never going to get anything new and exciting. There seems to be almost nobody on the planet who even dares to wonder if the Wii controller innovation will work yet there are plenty of people who think turning a game console into a home entertainment center is a mistake. If the controller can evolve then why can’t the console? Sony already turned it into a DVD player so why can’t a console also serve as a media center? I’m willing to bet my life savings that if Nintendo came up with this idea then almost everyone would be fawning over it.

What also surprises me is the backlash on the price tag. Yes, $600 is a lot for the console and I would definitely like the price to be lower. The PS2 was awesome because you could play games on it and at that time to get a DVD player that was also good for gaming at $300 was great. Sony is using the fact that BluRay players will be even more expensive than the PS3 to its advantage. Anybody that wants the high definition DVD players may as well get a PS3 at the asking price. If you don’t want one of these players for a while then the complaint on price is a lot more relevant. But anyone who likes gadgets that is made for multiple uses has no argument against the PS3’s design.

What Sony is doing wrong is that their PR department looks like it used Rockstar’s press releases over the past 3 years as a training video. It makes me wonder if my true calling was to be a PR guy for advising athletes and company spokespeople. Sony has trouble backing its media innovations. Look at its recent history with UMD, MD, and Memory Stick- they have all effectively bitten the dust given their lackluster publicity and third party support. The PS3 is an aggressive play to be the most technologically advanced console. Sony is relying on technology and their brand name to keep them the frontrunners in the gaming industry. This may turn out to be a failed mutation/experiment, but that’s their play. If the console delivers the promise on power and the games are fun then the PS3 will succeed.

4) PS and Xbox have more than 2 types of games.

Listening to arguments about the games that the consoles are providing is like listening to a broken record of Haddaway (basically what I’m saying that there’s really no way to describing how annoyingly redundant it is). Apparently in the alternate universe that some people live in the only games available on these consoles are FPS’s and sports games. And yes, people like lumping war games and racing games into that group and that’s okay. Somehow the RPG’s, RTS’s, and platformers became ignored. Anybody who makes these gross generalizations is advertising their ignorance with neon signs and flashing lights.

In addition I’m once more forced to play the Mario card. Mario, Link, and Samus have officially entered the franchise retirement home for me. These franchises have been around since 1986 and it’s time to consider coming up with some fresh ideas (and did you notice how Metroid’s transformation into an FPS slides by the FPS complaint?). Viewtiful Joe and Monkey Ball are a good start but you can’t pine for fresh new game ideas and then dive after every new Mario game. Certain franchises are allowed to be around for a long time, especially when the franchise itself evolves. Resident Evil is the poster child for this ideal. I’ve played new Mario games and they simply haven’t offered anything new in a long time that makes me think of the game as fresh new entry.

However, every console is guilty of recycling ideas and franchises. Picking one over the other does not make you special, it makes you an idiot and a hypocrite. Even the Xbox has a tired franchise in Halo- when pretty much your only evolutionary step is the story and dual wielding you are out of ideas. As boring as Splinter Cell is to me at least the sequels are relatively refreshing. Dynasty Warriors, Tekken, Quake, Rainbow Six, and Ratchet & Clank (as fun as they are) are but a couple of examples of other franchises that just aren’t offering anything new. Each generation is going to have only a select couple of breaths of fresh air, and before it starts you really have no way of knowing where they are going to come from.

5) Wii & DS connectivity means diddly squat.

I’m all for tying ideas together, but when Nintendo announced that the Wii and the DS would be interoperable two things happened- I wasn’t surprised and I didn’t care. Think way back to the Gamecube and the Gameboy Advance. Remember the overpowering success of Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles? If you don’t it’s because it wasn’t a huge success. It was a cool idea, but considering the cost and the fact that the game didn’t sell nearly as well as other Final Fantasy games this was just another one of those neat ideas that simply never went anywhere. And even if you think Crystal Chronicles did sell well you’re going to be hard pressed to come up with any others.

Fast forward to today where the DS introduced the concept of a PDA stylus for gaming. There are some fun games on the DS but you can’t tell me that the stylus is changing the landscape of gaming. You can’t tell me that the stylus is why people want the DS instead of the PSP. You can’t produce a long list of games that take advantage of the stylus and are a lot of fun. Couple that with this same interoperability experiment that Nintendo attempted with their previous console and you’re going to have to make some major stretches to convince yourself that this time things are going to be different.

This doesn’t mean I don’t want this idea to work. Believe me- I want some return on my investment besides a couple plane trips and lazy afternoons in front of the television. I wanted the stylus and the DS itself to be a lot more than it is today. There are more new GBA games than DS games that look appealing for crying out loud. Until you start seeing a laundry list of gaming features outlining why the Wii and DS talking to each other should mean anything it means absolutely nothing. Besides, doesn’t the PSP work with the PS3 or is that somehow not anywhere near the same thing?

6) Sony did not rip off the Wii controller.

And more importantly, it doesn’t matter. If Sony walked over to a patent office and stole an idea from Nintendo then that’s one thing. Nintendo does not have the exclusive tilt controller license. As far as I’m aware nobody has that patent. If I do enough digging I can find my Microsoft PC controller that does something similar. If you don’t care that Pepsi and Coke are releasing soft drinks with the same basic flavor modifications then you should equally not care about this scenario.

To be fair it certainly seems odd that Sony has added a tilt functionality to its controller during the same phase Nintendo did. By the time the public knew about the new controllers for the Wii could Sony engineers honestly come up with a design, test, and then be ready to mass produce this controller so quickly? It’s pretty impressive if that’s what happened because engineering turnaround is not a quick process. Maybe I am being way too naïve, but I’m willing to believe that the tilt functionality was something they were planning on using for a while. If developers are able to take advantage of this then so much the better. We’ll be able to see the difference between Nintendo’s and Sony’s implementations and decide for ourselves which one we like more.

And no, I don’t care that the rumble functionality isn’t in the new PS3 controllers.

As a side note, a new controller design has been needed for a while. I like that Nintendo is trying something different and their design easily seems to be the most genuine and daring. However people need to stop using past examples to back up this claim. In terms of who had the best controller from the last generation there really is no contest. Despite the PS2’s controller being almost no different from the Dual Shock controllers from the PS1 (the analog stick became clickable) it was still by far the most comfortable. The Xbox controllers were too big and the button layout on the Gamecube was just overly confusing and uncomfortable. Okay, the newer Xbox controllers became a little smaller but they still felt far too clumsy, especially the black & white buttons (which have been mercifully removed from the 360 controllers).

Still, if you simply can’t get past the fact that Sony announced a tilt controller whose style differs from that of Nintendo’s controller then so be it. Just don’t expect too many other people to care.

7) Nintendo needs to pimp ANYTHING besides Mario.

If you’re already bored with all of the war games that have been churned out over the past couple of years it’s time to look harder at the Mario franchise. I’m tired of collecting coins, jumping on turtles, and flying. It’s old and it’s been done way beyond death. Mario, Yoshi, Toad, Koopa, Wario, and everyone else appear in far too many games. There comes a point where you have to tone down a franchise and look to build up something else without driving the idea into the ground (such as Pokemon, which became tired and boring even faster than Ferbies).

With all of the hardware ideas they come up you would think Nintendo would be able to think of a new character for people to become attached to. If you don’t want the Mario name to fall to the level of Mega Man, which has had only one fresh idea in the series since 1995, it’s time to look outside the plumber turned race car driver turned golfer turned baseball player turned fighter turned hero turned…

And anyone not bothered by Sonic being playable on the same platform as Mario needs to take a step back and remember that Sonic was Sega’s response to Mario. The whole point was to steal market share from Nintendo, it was lame rip-off and Sonic was a rival. If there comes a time when you can do cooperative play with Mario and Sonic I’m going to have to partake in some extreme measures to combat the insanity.

We’re still in Spring Training.

In case you skipped over this point previously, only one of the consoles has been released. You need to come to grips with this. It’s for your own good. Nobody knows anything certain about the games coming out, nobody knows how powerful these machines really are, and nobody knows how well they’re going to sell. Ask J.K. Rowling if she thought Harry Potter was going to be a hit even outside the U.K. and then enlighten us with your proof about which consoles are going to succeed this time around.

It’s time to turn the dial way down on your ignorance. Take a step back and just wait for the consoles to come out. Buy one or don’t buy one. Play with one at a game store or go over to a friend’s house and check one out several months from now. Stop taking every little leak on the web about a console like it’s a stone tablet being carried by Moses. Half the time it’s some drunk guy with a hammer and chisel. Sit back, be quiet, wait until December, and then we’ll see what’s what.

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This article is written and copyrighted by Jamison DeLorenzo and all thoughts are solely his and do not necessarily represent anyone else’s including anyone else at this site. This is a weekly article which deals with anything and almost everything gaming. Feel free to post comments or e-mail. Thanks for reading.

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