The Gamer’s Quagmire: 5th Edition
- Jamison DeLorenzo

Gaming, humor, and insanity in harmony

Last year I decided to put together an article talking about the problems of the Xbox 360, and in retrospect it seemed like a hasty decision. Almost every console has some form of problem. The PlayStation consoles suffered from various hardware problems. Even Nintendo’s consoles suffer from problems time to time. It was entertaining that there was a lot of commotion over the overheating issues that some people were having. Still, the launch of the console has been a relative success here in the United States. Japan, on the other hand, seems to be a lot more reluctant in accepting the console. Only a small fraction of people have stepped up there for this Microsoft console compared to its first one. Those of you not having been through some economics classes should know that declining sales numbers are what’s known in the business as “bad.”

Aside from heating issues there are other amusing issues that sites are tossing around now. Perhaps some news sites are trying to be a little too sensationalist (shocker, right?), but when you start talking about people being charged for returning scratched games that means you have absolutely nothing interesting to say. This is not some magical new policy- people have been charged for returning scratched media way long ago when stores started renting DVD’s. Why this is now becoming news is extremely odd. That isn’t news.

Okay, maybe you have something when you talk about not being able to back up the game. Not every issue needs to walk down the road of copy protection. Sometimes a scratched disc is just a scratched disc. Sometimes negligence is just plain negligence. Do we have to get into a discussion about the DMCA every time music, movies, or games comes up? Look, sometimes freshly packaged movies are no good. Just today in fact I realized that one of my Law & Order Season 4 DVD’s was unplayable. Now I could just go download the disc, risk getting caught in spreading copyrighted material, and call it a day. Believe me- this solution is tempting.

This new year is providing us with some great entertainment already. You may recall that when the PS2 was launched that there were legal problems with shipping it to some foreign countries such as Iraq because the console had impressive enough computing power to somehow be a party to controlling weapons. We now live in a world where Microsoft’s latest offering caused airport security in MacArthur Airport to raise a bomb alert. I wish I was making this up. Hold on a second- no I don’t. It is incidents like these that make me so thankful I live in America. Where else would a popular console released in time for the holiday season be mistaken for a bomb? Okay, I do realize that I live in a universe where it’s inconceivable that someone I know at least hasn’t heard of the Xbox 360. This is not normal, but considering that this new console was probably the most sought after item as a gift for the holiday season how could an airport in New York not be aware of what it was?

And a part of me was hoping that I could make a joke about a MacArthur Airport security checkpoint melting. Donna Summer would have been proud.

To make things even better, the situation was not resolved until an entire section of the airport was evacuated and senior officers came by and determined that it wasn’t a threat. A part of me wishes I was the next person go through the security checkpoint with U2’s How to Dismantle An Atomic Bomb. Yes, this what our tax dollars are going towards- security guards getting worked up over a gaming console. The next story about an Xbox in an airport better be a security guard confiscating one as a result of a security alert.

What’s sad is that it we will have to sit through a couple more months of unchecked bashing of Microsoft until the PS3 is launched. Every time a console is launched there are going to be issues, so when a few popped up here or there for the 360 nobody should have been surprised. It would have been surprising if there were no issues. Look, I have played with the console. There are no amazing games out for it but there are a couple really good ones. The 360 will not be saved by Halo 3 because one game cannot save a console. Even 2,000,000 different Mario games have not been enough to make Nintendo be a huge force in the console wars (yes, they still dominate hand-held devices but that is hardly news). My experiences with the 360 so far have been good enough where purchasing one is not outside the realm of possibilities.

This is 2006, and this will be one of the bigger years in gaming in awhile. We have two new consoles due out and one that is just barely on the shelves. Last year was a landmark year for video game legislation. As a gamer I would like to move past that and stick to just plain gaming. I want a ton of new games that will put video games in the news in a good way. I want Rockstar to make a popular game that politicians won’t make a hissy fit over (such as a good Midnight Club sequel). I want the PS3 and the Revolution to be great consoles. Hey, it would be even cooler if Square released a video game.

Still, if there are no major news stories in the gaming world then that leaves people like me with almost nothing to write about. I guess I was looking for one positive story to write about during the holiday season. If nothing else you can take the incident at the airport as a lesson that no matter how much money some companies toss around to hype a machine, even Microsoft, there are plenty of people unaware of their existence. Considering that my Gameboy Advance was swiped at a security checkpoint I’m glad I’m not the only gamer to suffer a setback before a flight.

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